GALS Club Newsletter for Dec. 30, 1995

Was Santa good to everybody this year? Christmas is still going on here, as I've got some unclaimed presents under the tree yet.

Barry wanted to get his wife a new cooking pot for Christmas. It didn't occur to him to fill the old one with water and measure it in quarts, so, being yer typical carpenter, he cut two lengths of string to represent the height and breadth. Using this method of *sizing*, he was able to find a new pan, that can also be a pressure cooker, should Ann so desire.

CoffeyMate says the Holidays really bring out the nuts. Every year she makes goody baskets, including her homemade treats. Cashew Brittle... Walnut Brittle... Turtles... and Dutch Jan Hagel.

Shirley was thrilled with one of her Christmas presents. An "Original, One-of-a-Kind, Personalized, (throw something on to run out to the mailbox) GALS Club Jacket". She couldn't wait to show it off and quickly made some excuse to go into town.

OzarkLad went to his parents home for Christmas. He claims it was a successful visit for a couple of reasons---"Me and Dad didn't get into any arguments, and the cat stayed away from me."

Nikki only half-watches whatever is on TV. However, a certain commercial gets her attention and she wishes it lasted longer. She'd also like to see a full length movie made with the characters. They are the Copper Top Battery Family.

Josh changed the oil in his pick-up truck this week. It was a grueling experience for him. When he tried to get the front wheels up on the ramps, a back tire dug a deep rut in the gravel. He filled the hole and tried again. And again he spun. He was forced to move the ramps to avoid the *soft-spot* he had made in the driveway. With a little head start, he was able to finally get the truck up on them, and proceed with his dirty work.

Mindy is in training to become a member of the Polar Bear Club. With the temperatures being in the 20's and 30's, she still wears shorts and a T-shirt wherever she goes.

REPLIES-----

• Philly...It don't mean a thing if you ain't got that swing.
• Frank...No, I didn't complete my degree, but surely fourteen years of college should count for something.
• Tim...Until I can kiss MY ass, I ain't kissing nobody elses.

>From the *Unabashed Dictionary* of PLAYBOY magazine.

• Bachelor...a man who has no children to speak of.
• Chaperone...one who could never make the team but is still in there intercepting passes.
• Bachelor...a callous cad who is cheating some good woman out of her alimony.
• Psychologist..a man who watches everybody else when a pretty girl walks into the room.
• Bachelor...a fellow who is crazy to get married, and knows it.
• Alimony...having an ex-husband you can bank on.
• Bachelor...a man who believes in life, liberty and the happiness of pursuit.
• Pajamas...an item of clothing usually placed next to the bed in case of fire.

Now we must venture into 1996. (I have made no resolutions, but I'm working on it.)

Happy New Year!

Your President,

Kaye Coffey