The skies are grey. I hear the thunder and watch the rain as I sit here on the porch. I see the trees turning a young green. I'm feeling melancholy, and my mood cannot be broke, not even by the chattering maids as they go about their work. It must be "Spring Fever". Either that...or the figure of getting a life keeps ducking around the corner.
Mindy feels this is going to be an exceptionally good year for her in softball. For the first time in her career she hit the ball over the fence. Not once...but twice...in the same evening. She says she just stood there, watching it disappear. Her shock was shook by the coach's yells. "RUN! You have to run the bases, they aren't gonna just *give* it to you!"
Chester Karma broke away from his usual eating habits. So regular has he been, that the manager at his local McDonald's called to make sure he was Okay, since he hadn't been there in a couple of days. (BTW Chester...Why do I keep getting MAILER DAEMON's back on you?)
Philly got a phone call from one of those *surveyors*. You know the kind, they ask a zillion questions on a certain topic. This night it was about cigarettes. "Have you smoked, bought, seen ads, recieved coupons for, your opinion of, etc., particular brands?" 30 minutes later when all was done, she had a question of her own. "Is there really a cigarette named *Dave's*?"
CoffeyMate is readying herself to re-decorate the kitchen. She hasn't quite decided on what color paint, but she has the *wallpaper*. It took her a couple of years to save for her project. But now she'll put to use those sheets of stamps that came in big brown sweepstake envelopes.
Admiral Frippy tells us he's been getting more than his share of rain lately. His lake is higher than he's ever seen it. The lightning has blown out some electrical equipment. His basement has flooded. But it wasn't until he walked half-asleep to the kitchen for coffee that he cursed the weather. He tripped over a place in his floor that had buckled.
OzarkLad bought a new toy...a vibrating hair brush. He says it will make for a healthier scalp. I think he just want to feel his eye-balls shake.
REPLIES-----
SOME TRULY TASTELESS JOKES-----(That you've heard before.)
How do make a Venetian blind?
.......... Poke him in the eye.
How do you get down from an elephant?
.......... You don't; you get down from a goose.
Did you hear about the fly on the toilet seat?
.......... He got pissed off.
Why did the hooker wear French heels?
.......... She didn't want to sell herself short.
What did one fly say to the other?
.......... "Gee, time is fun when you're having flies."
Confucius say...he who stands on toilet seat is high on pot.
Thank- you, I've been here all week.
Your President,
Kaye Coffey