GALS Club Newsletter for August 31, 1996

It's that time of year. The Head-lice season. Yep, September through November is when they are at their peak. And the vile little creatures have no respect for socioeconomical status or cleanliness. ANYBODY can get them. They can infest you by indirect contact, like when you rest your head upon a single egg-bearing hair left by the previous occupant of your plane seat. More commonly though, is when your kids share their brushes at school. And lice can even migrate to you when you put your heads close enough together, like when you're mulling over a paper or book, or doing the huggy-kissy thing. So now that you know all of this, is your head crawling?

Robin bought a new car. Well, it's 3 years old but new to her. She hadn't had it a day when it was discovered that some of the lights didn't work. The former owner said he'd had that problem once and I forget what she said he said he had to do to fix it. Take it to the garage or something, he would pay for it. But her husband doesn't feel anybody is as capable as he is at these things, so he would fix it himself. The next morning when she went to go to work, she saw her car was gutted. He had taken all the seats out of it and had the dash torn apart. She tells us her household was in a state of pure hell the 4 days it took to repair the lights and get it put back together.

Chet was in his usual joke telling mode at the bar this week. Amazingly, every one of them involved a camel or a donkey or both. (Shut up ass, I know what I'm talking about.)

Phil...uh...Nevermind got a hat for his birthday. Designed and decorated for the dedicated golfer that he is. It has tees on it and a pencil to write *down* his score. It also has a little windsock on top to show the direction of any breeze he may have to make adjustments for. And if that doesn't work, there is a compass on it so he can find his way out of the woods after looking for his ball.

Nikki can't understand this new dance craze, the *Macarena*. How it's taken Europe and America by storm. "Don't those people realize how stupid they look?" She says it reminds her of Kindergarden when the teacher made them play "Simon Says".

REPLIES-----

• Jon...A handful of eyeballs?
• Jon Luc...Je ne parle pas francais.
• John...Where is your restroom?

PORCELAIN DREAMS-----

And what they mean.

1. You need to go but can't find a private toilet; the stall won't lock or has no door at all. This means the dreamer feels very exposed and fears censure. They may have just confessed a long-held secret to someone, or entered therapy, or perhaps just started a new job where they feel conspicuous.
2. The toilet or entire bathroom is filthy or in disarray. This dream implies disorder, danger, unsettled matters. Like, if the setting is at your mother-in-laws house, what about her is repellent to you?
3. You go to the bathroom, and keep going and going. This is a relief dream, often experienced after a crisis has passed.

And the worst one of all is when you are in the bathroom relieving yourself, only to find it was just a dream.

Your President,

Kaye Coffey