GALS Club Newsletter for September 14, 1996

First, I want to give a big "Thank-you" to all the people from other states who have come to North Carolina to help restore us after Hurricane Fran. The long, hard hours you are putting in is most appreciated. Hopefully you will come back when we are not a pile of rubble. Again, THANK-YOU.

Jen got a free psychic reading over the phone when she called the specialty pet place to find out how much a casket for a St. Bernard costs. "I sense something's wrong. You'd better come now." the lady said. She managed to contain her laughter, and before she hung up, she learned a poodle-size one is $260. This got her curiosity. Disguising her voice, she called again to inquire about a goldfish casket. (The Deluxe model is $69.95, economy is $39.95.) During the third call, she gave the guy her name and number, for he would have to check and call her back on the price of one for a 6' Boa.

OzarkLad got drunk one night. When he woke up the next morning, things were a little blurry. He rubbed his eyes...still blurry. He figured he must have taken his contacts out and so reached for his glasses. Still blurry. Rubbed his eyes again and put his glasses back on. Still blurry. We're unclear how many times he did this before he realized the lens had fallen out. It all started to come back to him, as he searched down in the couch for the missing piece.

Nikki is learning that condo ownership is not all she thought it would be. She hadn't lived there 2 months when she got the notice that they are going to put on vinyl siding, therefore she has to come up with an additional XXXX dollars for hers. "I don't even have a dining room table yet!" she wailed.

CoffeyMate tells us that Autumn has arrived. How does she know? Her Starfish Cactus is fixin' to bloom. "And the tomato plants have plumb quit." (But the okra is still bearing.)

Josh is caught between a rock and a hard place. Should he go to New York City to do his Christmas shopping? Or should he go to New Orleans to see a football game? Decisions, decisions.

REPLIES-----

• Mindy...Everybody's a dork in their own way.
• Buster...Use my glass. I know it well.
• Robby...Whose turn is it to mess with us now?
• Eddie...I repeat...If this ain't God's country, why is the sky Carolina blue?

THE WORLD'S EASIEST QUIZ? (Page down to find the answers.)

1. How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2. Which country makes Panama hats?
3. From which animal do we get catgut?
4. In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5. What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6. The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7. What was King George VI's first name?
8. What color is a purple finch?
9. Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10. How long did the Thirty Years War last?

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ

1. 116 years, from 1337 to 1453.
2. Ecuador.
3. From sheep and horses.
4. November. The Russian calendar was 13 days behind ours.
5. Squirrel fur.
6. The Latin name was Insularia Canaria - Island of the Dogs.
7. Albert. When he came to throne in 1936 he respected the wish of Queen Victoria that no future king should ever be called Albert.
8. Distinctively crimson.
9. New Zealand.
10. Thirty years, of course. From 1618 to 1648.

Class dismissed.

Your President,

Kaye Coffey