Sheeeeee's baaaaaaaaaack.
First, I want to again Thank All who wrote with concerns as to my whereabouts. Or more specifically, the newsletter's whereabouts. You know who you are. Thank-You.
And so for it, you'll notice that this newsletter is all of November wrapped up into one. Edited for content, of course. Enjoy!
Let's get this show started with a poem by Thomas Hood (1799-1845): "No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees, no fruits, no leaves, no birds, November!" (yeah, yeah, yeah, and no newsletter)
Robin saw a commercial on TV for a denture cleaning product that "prevents denture odor". Now she asks..."What do dentures smell like? And can the wearer taste them?"
Tim reminded us that it's only a month 'til his wedding. This will be his third, and says he is shooting for five. He considers each marriage to be like a notch. He did not say in what.
Josh had to break a few eggs, and when he scrambled them they turned out *picture perfect*. He hated to spoil the beauties by eating them.
CoffeyMate kept putting off the bi-annual job of moving her plants and left them outside a day too long. They fared well, except for the avacado tree. It suffered major damage and she fears for it. "After all, I ate it's mother so I feel a kindred to it."
Kai is saving up his money to buy a wife. That's right, I said to *buy* a *wife*. The ones he's looking at range from $4,000 to $6,000 cash. He's already got enough to make a down payment, but that way he'll end up paying $10,000. Not what he wants to do, but still, he seems anxious to get one. (Hmmm...And how much are they after the first one?)
Mindy was looking for some kids to borrow to take to the mall with her. It seems there is this giant climbing toy there (she likened it to those outside of MacDonald's), and if you're over 12 yrs. old, you have to have a kid with you to play on it. Her and a friend tried to share one once, "He's a real brat and it takes two of us to control him." The people in charge of the place didn't buy it.
Shawn made a rare appearance at the bar. And even more rare...he had a couple of drafts!
More bar news... Jen is getting funnier and funnier about how she serves me my beer. This week she poured the bottle into a pitcher before giving it to me.
And more bar news... JR wasn't paying attention when he was bagging up a to-go order. There was only supposed to be four boxes, but he put in five. The error was discovered after the customer had left with it. When Jen was ready to eat her omelet she brought and the box was missing!
And even more bar news... Santa Claus came in for a burger. And yes, he *was* the one we saw downtown overseeing the putting up of Christmas decorations. Let the season begin!
And still even more bar news... Uh, nevermind.
CoffeyMate wants to know how many times she has to apologize before the bride will quit snitting? While photographing the wedding parties her bracelet broke, sending pearls bouncing in all directions. So what if everything had to stop while she retrieved them? "Use this time to take a deep breath, you're going to need it later", she told the woman. What she *wanted* to say was..."Awww, quitcher bitchin'."
Nikki lost the bet she made in a game between Green Bay and Dallas. She had to buy that guy his lunch for a full week. The worst part was having to wear the clothing of the team she hates. She stayed away from mirrors so she wouldn't have to see it. "The sight nearly made me puke." That taught her no lessons though, she has the same bet going on their next game together.
Robin says her place of employment is getting to be less and less fun. She showed us a letter from her boss that she has to sign and return. It told of disciplines for being late. New proceedures for taking breaks. Absenteeism. Wage penalties for this and policies for that. The last paragraph invited them to the Christmas Party. Which is Christmas Eve morning, and that's when the bonuses will be given out. (Scrooge lives!)
REPLIES-----
A COUPLE OF BLOND JOKES I HEARD-----
Just skip past if you've already heard them. And please bear in mind that I'm not very good at telling jokes...
There was this blond out in the middle of a wheat field rowing a boat. An older blond stopped her car when she saw this and jumped out yelling "You stupid blond. You give all the rest of us blonds a bad name. If I could swim, I'd come out there and KICK YOUR ASS!"
A brunette had to go to the Emergency Room. The doctor asked her to describe her symptoms. "I keep having dizzy spells and when I touch here (pointing to her sinus), it hurts. And when I touch here (pointing to her neck), it hurts. And when I touch here (pointing to her side), it hurts." He asked her if she used to be a blond. Yes, she had. But what did that have to do with anything? "Your finger is broke" he said.
SOME CYBERSPEAK-----
[4]
Hmmm...nothing happens.
I hope everyone had an enjoyable Thanksgiving.
Your President,
Kaye Coffey