Long time no see! 'Tis truly a pleasure to be back. I'd like to say that I've been trying to get a life, but I can't. I can say, however, that I've got a higher education now. And I think I'll practice what I've learned in this here very newsletter, or maybe I won't, we'll see.
My collection of ISP software packages is growing. A couple I've recently acquired worth mentioning are...
Nikki knew that Psst-Psst was jumping up on the kitchen counter at night; a definite no-no, which always earned the cat a rap when caught. But, what could Nikki do about it while she slept? The solution came in the form of duct tape. She simply laid the tape, sticky side up, along the edge of the counter. Sure enough, he jumped up that night. His panic caused the tape to wrap around his paw. Then the trauma of removing the tape...Oy! The ploy worked, though, for he hasn't been on the counter since.
Robin got to do something many of us wish we could do. She got to sleep on the job and got paid for it, too. Last week, the transformer that serves the block where she works crashed or something. There was no electricity or phone service for over three hours. She tried to talk her boss into letting her go home, but he wouldn't have it. He told her to go take a nap and he'd wake her when the power came back on. She figures she's now got two hours *on* her employer.
OzarkLad is predicting a severe Winter where he lives, and he's preparing for the worst. Should he become immobilized, he shall have comfort in his own home. He has a kerosene heater to keep him warm. He has a generator to watch TV and operate any other electrical whatever. He has stocked his pantry with dried and canned goods. He has a supply of bottled water. All he lacks is a cellular phone, so he won't lose any time on the internet. So, while he was at Sam's Club checking out phones, he thought to pick up a case of toilet paper, just in case. Upon bringing his Charmin home he discovered he already had an unopened case of the stuff. He figures if he's snowed in for two years, he'll still be able to wipe his butt.
Eddy had a living nightmare with the ATM, *and* the bank it
represented. It was a long line of horrors, one right after the other.
It started out as his usual stop by the ATM, but something was amiss
the first time he punched in his numbers; so he did it a second time, being
extra careful with his punching. The machine gave him $10 extra. It also
kept his card without reason. He thought he could just get it easily
settled Monday morning when the bank opened, especially since his mother
works there.
Using his spare card the next day, he made another usual visit to the
ATM. He was denied and the machine kept his card, again without reason. He
was at the bank Monday morning when they opened their doors. It turned out
that the machine kept one of the cards because it was bent; the other it
kept and cut into three pieces, because the worn magnetic strip showed up a
faulty account number.
So, while he was at the bank, he thought to deposit his paycheck and
get some much needed cash. After 17 years of doing his business there they
asked for his State ID. It was two years expired and therefore no
transactions could be made. He couldn't put money in, nor take any out.
Even his mother could not help him - rules/policies are rules/policies, y'know?
After obtaining a valid State ID he returned to the bank. That wasn't
enough for the bank to cooperate with him and his business there. Because
their rules/policies had changed, he also had to be thumb printed.
He's beginning to wonder if banks are worth it.
Professor Risch has informed me that some students will copy another student's work. I find this deplorable; I hope none of you students practice cheating. After all, why are you in school if not to learn? If you're EVER going to get a life you'll need a bit of a brain. Think and do for yourself.
REPLIES-----
SOME TOASTS-----
These are provided by a couple of biker chicks I met one evening; when they stopped into the bar as they were passing through town.
Up to it, down to it,
Damn the man who can't do it.
Lord knows, I can do it,
'Cause I'm used to it.
****
Here's to it and from it,
And to it and from it again.
If you ever get to it,
And don't do it,
You'll never get to it,
To do it again.
So...chug-a-lug.
****
Here's to you and here's to me,
Friends forever we will be.
If we ever disagree,
F**k you - here's to me.
Cheers; Skoal; Down the hatch; etc., etc., etc.
Your President,
Kaye Coffey