My journey as a seconday survivor has been a long one. I wish that I could say that it has been easy, but then again few of the truly meaningful experiences in life ever are.

I grew up like many people. I suppose I have always known survivors... Whether or not I knew that they were survivors was a different thing altogether. Like many people, I always knew that rape and abuse existed however I had no idea how often it happens or how much it can affect a person.

I spent the summer of 1990 working as a summer camp counselor at a camp for kids, teens, and young adults with Spina Bifida. Because I shared the same disability as the campers, I was blessed with the opportunity to talk to them about many of the things they went through. By the end of the summer, I found that I enjoyed being there for people when and if they needed to talk. I also found that my friendships were deeper and more meaningful than ever before.

Well fall came and classes started back up. I also resumed my other normal activities of volunteering at local social service agencies. One day, a friend approached me and said that she needed to talk. It was soon after that she told me she had been sexually abused by family members.

Knowing nothing about abuse and its affects, I decided to listen and let her vent. Respecting her confidentiality, I began to read anything I could on the subject. Being a physchology major at the time, I was also able to start conversations on a variety of related topics without people wondering why.

Soon after, I came across another woman (to whom I will always be indebted to) who seemed to have a great deal of knowledge in helpng survivors. I soon found out that she is a survivor herself. She taught me one of my most valuable lessons to date... "The best thing you can do is just BE THERE for survivors. You don't necessarily have to offer advice (in many cases its best not to anyway). Just be there. Just listen