Youthful Dreams

You know, it's funny how the dreams of youth never seem to become the realities of middle age.

Ok, whoa. I know that's a BIG load to swallow right off the bat. But it's true. I wonder if everyone else had big dreams for their life as I did when I was young. I was going to be a famous singer (in some really kewl genre like opera...lol) but, alas, the closest I ever got was a tour of the Metropolitan Opera House while on holiday in New York City some, OH MY GOSH, has it really been 17 years ago????

I was accepted to Juliard at age 17, but being from a small, sheltered, southern town, it simply was not done for a young lady to move away from home to a big city and live alone. So there went my youthful dream of fame and fortune and I settled for life as something quite different indeed.

No, settled is not the right word for it. I never settled for anything in my life. I made decisions, took alternate paths along the road of my life and lived with my own consequences. And, I can't say that I'm not happy. No, wealth, power, fame and fortune did not come my way as once expected. But neither did the bitterness of lost dreams.

I have wonderful friends whom I love and cherish...friends that have always been there for me...and a family that I love dearly. There are also those dear to my heart, yet far away in body that I will never let go. So, above all, I would have to say I am blessed and very thankful that sometimes dreams do not come true.

SECOND CHANCES

How often is it in this dark comedy we like to call "real life" that we as human beings actually get a second chance once we've monumentally f*cked up? Personally, I've never known it to happen until this year. Always before, the proverbial bridges were errevocably burned on my past loves, jobs and situations. Nothing could be farther from the truth now.

I've never been one to give my love, loyalty, respect or friendship lightly. Likewise, I tend to demand as much from those who do gain my trust. Perhaps I'm too demanding of them or expect too much, but I never really thought so. I mean, shouldn't we, as individuals, decide for ourselves what we're worth and expect no less from those within our inner circle?

So there I was, rocking along, meeting new people, going new places, when WHAM, I'm broadsided by someone who completely took my breath away and quite literally swept me off my feet. I suppose the term "whirlwind" wouldn't be too far from the truth when used to describe the relationship. But after 2 years of bliss, I woke up one day to discover that it was over...done...*poof*...GONE. And I was devastated, to say the least.

For 3 long years I agonized over the absence of the lowest common denominator of the relationship....the friendship. I missed the long talks about absolutely EVERYTHING under the sun. I missed my sentences being completed before I really even knew what I wanted to say myself. I missed the laughter and yes, even the tears that were few and far between. I felt like a part of me was missing...maybe the best part. And it hurt.

Then, just a few weeks ago, fate was kind. A hurt was mended, a friendship was rekindled, laughter and light returned to two lives that, by the admittance of both, had been dim...and we both found that Second Chances really do happen in real life.