ORIGINAL POETRY - PAGE 1

1087

My world exists around music.
A solitary word
That has changed the course of many a person's life,
Mine being one of them.
Whenever depression entered
And in no one could I find happiness,
Music was always there to lift my spirits
And cause them to soar higher and farther
With each note,
With every beat.
When sadness overtook me,
In music would I take comfort.
In times of happiness
Music was the sound of rejoicing.
In pain,
Music was a soothing elixir.
Like water to a parched throat.
In anger,
Music was an emotional outlet.
I have been asked several times,
Concerning my passion for music,
What would I do
Should I never be able to hear again
A single tone or voice.
I say, "Music is not in one's ears;
Many great composers were deaf.
Music is never a product of the brain,
For the verses of one of the greatest hymns ever written
Were found on the wall of an asylum.
Music comes from the heart
Where it is forever instilled.
It needs only a willing spirit
Through which to conduct passage,
Through which to dispel bitterness,
Through which to edify the soul. (10-87)

A FRIEND

Certain thoughts and ideas
Are not to be shared with others.
They are precious,
And are meant to be protected,
Stored, savored and treasured.
Certain moments of one's life
Are to be bound up
And forever sealed in one's heart.
However, some of these thoughts,
Some of these moments,
Are too powerful to be dealt with alone.
That is when another is found,
One who understands,
One who cares,
A friend. (9-87)

A HEART

A lifetime ago I would have said
The things most important to me,
Were the things that only money could buy
The finest of luxuries.

I was born, silver spoon in mouth
Expecting and getting the best.
Yet I was blind to other's sacrifice
Which kept me from settling for less.

As I grew the silver spoon
Was long-since cast aside,
Searching only now for gold
And treasures far and wide.

With age comes the treasure of wisdom, they say,
Now I know that's a statement of truth,
For my dreams have matured along with me
They're no longer the visions of youth.

These days in the treasures for which I search
Money has no part,
For the only gold, I've found, worth having
Is, in it's purest form...a heart. (04-27-89)

ALL ALONE

I cried out from the darkness,
but you brought no light that I might see;
O God, why hast thou forsaken me?
I was taken into bondage,
never again to be free;
O God, why hast thou forsaken me?

My parents care no more,
now they'll never be together;
O God, why hast thou forsaken me?
I feel no compassion
left in this world, now or forever.
O God, why hast thou forsaken me?

As by my bed I knelt and cried
A still small voice I heard,
It said, "Why do you cry and accuse me of this,
With these words your sorrows I'll purge."

My child my child, you pray each day indeed; but only
when there is something you want, or only when you are in need.
My child, why hast thou forsaken me?
You accept from me all I would give, all of my heavenly pleasure; but
when I asked of you, I received nothing...none of your earthly
treasure.
My child, why hast thou forsaken me?

My crying died, and my tears were dried
As His gentle voice caused me to think,
Of all that God gave up for me
Of how I was on the brink...

Of sorrow and destruction,
Of death not life,
Of pain and guilt,
Of sin and strife.

Forgive me Lord.
I know, now, that I was wrong.
For You have been with me,
All my life long.

ASHLEY

I watch your hands
amazed at what I see.
I see them glide slowly,
then faster and faster.
The sounds they create
ignite my imagination,
Cause me to stare in awe
and childlike wonder.
In the tones they project, I lose track of all that is tangible.
Earthly things no longer have meaning for me.
I soon realize that the talent
not only lives in your hands,
but, in fact, comes from your heart.
And what a great heart it is.
So passionate in spiritual abandon,
So loving to all, that a person could wish
to remain with you forever.
You have taken the talent God gave you
and developed it beautifully.
I am so glad that God blessed me
with a friend like you. (10-87/aaw)

BEHIND CLOSED EYES

Behind closed eyes I see your face.
It glows with a gossamer, medieval light.
You smile.
Yet somehow it never quite reaches your eyes.
A sense of sadness permeates me.
I can't seem to dispel a sense of foreboding,
A sense of inadequacy,
A lack of trust?
Could it be that this barrier was put there by another?
A cold, uncaring, unfeeling person,
Who crushed your spirit and left you longing
For something you thought never to possess?
Behind closed eyes I feel your pain,
Your deep wound of rejection.
A tear glistens but for a moment
In the corner of your eye before it is brushed aside.
I wonder.
If a vent were provided for the release of your
Deeply-rooted anger, could you again learn
To trust, to care, to love?
Perhaps if you could only try once more,
My love for you could appear in a form other than a dream,
Could be seen in a way other than
Behind Closed Eyes. (10-87)

MY BEST FRIEND

When no one understands, or cares why I cry,
My best friend seems to understand.
When there seems nothing for me to live for,
My best friend comes in and shows me all the
good things in life that I let myself forget.
My best friend reminds me of all the good times,
And of the beauty that surrounds me every day.
She lifts my heart and makes it soar to heights
I only dreamed I could reach.
I hope that someday, if ever she should need someone
I'll be there, to give her the support and love
so many times she has given to me.
Someday, possibly a thousand years from now,
When my spirit is floating on some universal breeze,
I hope to convey to her the impact her life has had no me.
She is so very special to me.
She's my best friend. (07/85)

...BUT FOR YOU

It seems by now
That I would be used
To the disappointment;
That I would have
Grown accustomed
To the "agony of defeat".
But it is so difficult
To deny your dreams.
I would see you;
You would leave your
Circle of friends to stand at my side.
Your arm,
Would encircle my waist,
Protectively.
And I would revel
In the warmth,
The strength,
Of that gentle,
Yet, decidedly possessive touch.
Soon,
We would decide
that we'd had enough
Of the laughter
And music,
And you would lead me away
To our world.
The world we created together,
For each other.
The private world
Which belongs only to us.
But now,
Having awaken
From the beautiful dream
Called you,
I see the first,
Harsh rays of dawn;
Feel the first,
Cruel blasts of heat
Which should soon
Burn off the last traces
Of that dream-fog.
O, for a potion,
To allow me to remain
In that final,
And sweetest,
Phase of sleep;
The phase
In which you remain
With me,
The phase
Just before you slip away
And reality steals in,
Steals you away,
Steals my love away.
But for you,
I could have found someone
Years ago.
But for your memory,
Which haunts
Every waking hour,
I could have made new memories.
But for my love for you,
I would be free. (04-29-89/sgt)

CONTENTMENT

Brief moments.
Brief glances.
Brief glimpses of happiness.
That is all I ever seem to possess.
For the first time in weeks I truly feel alive.
Why, you ask?
You, I reply.
A simple hello.
A few kind words.
A smile.
The things you do so well, yet you could never realize
the effect those tiny expressions of friendship
bring about in my life.

Brief whispers.
Brief caresses.
Brief interludes which forever dominate my dreams.
Dreams!
Never reality!
Never a reward of gentle kisses for my lips,
gentle hands to stroke my hair.
O, for one moment to have the blinds lifted from your eyes;
to have your sight cleared.
O, for the moment when pride
relinquishes the bloody hold its talons have on your heart.
O, for the moment
when I possess your heart.

Brief moments.
Brief glances.
Brief glimpses of happiness.
But that is enough. (02-23-88/jf)

CONFESSION

There are times when I feel weak and alone.
It matters not
That seemingly the whole world is around me;
So I live for those precious moments
When I can be alone with you.
It seems only then
Does my heart begin to pump the blood
That warms my frigid soul.
Freely you give me the strength
I so desperately need.
Never, do you demand payment.
Your shadow guides me
But doesn't block from me
The soothing warmth of the sun.
Your arms encompass me,
Yet, at my insistence, they retreat,
In order to allow me to fall
And learn from my mistakes.
However, when failure occurs,
You are always there
To help me pick up the fragile pieces
Of the puzzle called my life
And arrange them
Into a pattern more lovely, more perfect.
Thank you, Lord
For shielding me, caring for me
And never letting me down. (09-87)

DAD

Long ago a little girl
Climbed up on her daddy's knee,
And said, in a voice so innocent,
"Please won't you read to me?"

Only one book tonight, your daddy's tired,
It was the same old line,
But he never complained, and as he read every book,
His heart truly cherished this time.

He would always remember the firsts in her life,
The first step, the first smile, the first word,
The first broken bone, the first broken heart,
The first time "I love you, Daddy" was heard.

He would remember the first time she rode her bike,
The first time she fell and skinned her knee,
The first day she rode the bus to school,
The first time she climbed that old pine tree.

He remembered the very first movie she saw,
And that movie she saw was with him.
He remembered the first movie she saw on her own,
Was it with Joe, or Bill, or Tim?

It's hard to remember the men in her life,
They walk in and out the revolving door of her heart,
But the only man in her life she still counts on
Is the one who's been there from the start.

The one who read every book, every night,
Who kissed her cheek and dried her tears.
The one who was there for all the firsts in her life,
Who's been there all through the years.

The one who cried as he walked her down the aisle,
And handed her reluctantly to another,
The one who was there when that trust was broken,
And she vowed never to love any other.

The one who always understands
And loves her no matter how bad.
The one who will always be there when she needs him
The first man in her life...her Dad. (08-29-95/ccs)

DAY LILY

My soul was but a lily
That lay withered in the field,
Oppression drained away my strength
It seemed my fate was sealed.

Each day I basked in loneliness,
Heartache, sorrow and woe,
And time seemed only to compound the pain
That was dealt by some unseen foe.

Freely I offered of my last reserves
The nectar to provide
Others with a healing balm
So from this world they need not hide.

No one knew that with each drop
My life-force was waning fast,
They saw not me, but an image of me
They remembered from long years past.

A blossoming flower, radiant with life
And a glow forever in place,
The perfect picture of happiness
Forever ingrained on my face.

But the shadows of truth could not hide for long
In the light of reality,
And when the Gardener cast His eyes my way
He took pity on what He did see.

A shrunken and dying lily
Whose beauty and fragrance were gone,
Tired and bruised were the petals and stem
This lily could not survive long.

So He gently unearthed me and carried me home
To find rest in His hothouse of love,
To renew my strength and renew my faith
In His Father, the Great Gardener above.

Soon I was replanted
With new strength of purpose in mind,
Knowing now I can face what lies ahead
Whatever tomorrow may find.

Though there may be wind, or drought, or storms,
Or pestilence here and there,
The Gardener is ever present, ever watchful,
And is only as far as a prayer. (11-20-89/jr)