Annie's Meat Reviews
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     I'm an omnivore.    I eat meat, and really like it when I do.    I do like my veggies as well, but there are times when it's a slab of dead something that I want.    Lately, though, I've found that some make believe meat like products can certainly do a credible stand in for the real thing.    Here's what I think of some of the various meat and meat like products that are out there.

Spam Lite: 4 Stars
I know, I know.    Spam is a joke food, a trailer trash staple that no actually really eats, except for maybe in Hawaii or Korea or somewhere far, far away from the American Heartland.    Well, I don't live in a trailer, but I do enjoy the occasional Spam sandwich.    But traditional spam, coming in at 180 calories per 2 ounce serving, 90 of those from fat, is pretty heavy.    There's a reason no one ever uses the words "spam" and "health food" in the same sentence.    But for those of you who are spam lovers and hopeful dieters, there is hope.    Spam lite comes in at 110 calories per two ounce serving, 70 of which are from fat.    It also has 25% less sodium, for those that care about that.    Still not exactly something you expect your doctor to recommend, but better than the original product.    The reason I am giving it 4 stars is because although it is a calories reduced product, it tastes exactly like it's higher calorie cousin.    I made a couple of sandwiches from spam lite. A total of four thin slices cooked till brown and crisp in a cast iron pan, then served on white bread toast with either Miracle Whip (for my husband) or Ketchup (for me).    Neither of us could tell it from the original spam.    I don't recommend making this a mainstay of your diet.    But if spam is a comfort food you, a guilty little secret, then try the lite version.    You'll sacrafice absolutely nothing but a few calories.    And maybe the respect of your friends if they find out about it.

Ballpark Fat Free Beef Franks: 3 stars.
This product gets its good rating not so much for it's flavor, which I wasn't that impressed with, but rather for it's incredible low calorie count of only 40 each! Compare to their regular franks which have 180 calories each.    Serve on a 80 calorie bun and you've got yourself a hot dog for only 120 calorie.    You could have a couple of them and still be having a sensible meal!    Problem is, these don't taste nearly as good as their fuller fat cousins.    The texture is the biggest problem.    The fat free franks have an oddly translucent look to them, for starters.    Frank are traditionally seasoned with various spices such as coriander, garlic, ground mustard, nutmeg, salt, sugar and white pepper, which give their characteristic "hot dog" taste.    These spices seemed to be turned up a notch for the fat free version, no doubt to make up for the loss of flavor sacrificed with the loss of fat.    This does help contribute to the sense of "you're really eating a hot dog!", but honestly, I would have preferred if the spice taste had not been cranked up as high as it was.

     So, the flavor is lacking.    But, the calorie saving is so substantial that it just might be worth cultivating a taste for these if you are a hot dog lover.   

Boca Meatless Burgers: 3 stars.
Given that I am such a fast food junkie, and that I liked the Boca Chick'n so much, it seemed logical to me to try these as well.    Sure, I was skeptical about meat free burgers, I mean, the heart and soul of a burger is the meat, no?    Well, in a word, yes.    But they are close enough that they can stop a serious burger craving without doing terrible damage to one's diet.    According to Fitday, a 4 ounce beef patty weighs in at 232 calories, raw (it would of course lose weight during cooking).   Boca Burgers come in at 70 calories per 2.5 ounce patty (these don't seem to lose alot of weight during cooking).    I tried the Original flavor, and the Grilled Vegetable flavor.    On different nights, I made burgers from the the same way I like all my burgers: 1 low calories bun (80 calories each), 2 slices of onions, grilled, lettuce, dill pickle chips, light mayo, and ketchup.    Neither of these really seemed to be just like meat to me. The texture was the main problem, somewhat mushy and mealy compared to the real thing.    They both had a fakey "grilled" flavor, in the original it was strong enough that I felt it detracted from the whole thing.  I liked the Grilled Vegetable flavor more; the spices in it added nice flavor without seeming odd or out of place.
     No hardcore meat eater is going to be fooled by these for a second.    If you are craving a big, greasy, splendid cheeseburger, these are just going to annoy you.    But if you accept that these aren't the real thing, but are similar and just might remind you a real burger to keep the cravings at bay and still not wreck havoc on your diet, then these are worth looking into.

Boca Chick'n Patties (spicy): 4 stars.
I'm not a vegetarian.    I don't really eat alot of meat, but I do enjoy it when I do.    And I am skeptical of "fake meat" soy products.    I've had some meat free hot dogs that were simply horrid.    However, I did like the Morningstar meatless corn dogs (see below), so I decided to give these "chick'n" patties a try as well.

     I'm very glad I did!    These, to repeat a cliche, really do taste like ckicken, and with a nice hit of spiciness as well.    I simply pop one into a toaster oven, then bake off until is slightly browned.    I serve on a low calorie hamburger bun (80 calories each) and some light mayo, and some lettuce, and I end up with a "chicken" sandwich that tastes every bit as good as something that came out of fast food window, at alot less calories.   These "chick'n" patties weigh in at 160 calories each, while a frozen Tyson Southren Style chicken patty comes in at 240 calories.    Fixed as I describe above, a sandwich made with a Boca comes in at about 300 calories.    A Jack's Spicy Chicken Sandwich (which is the fast food sandwich the above most reminds of off all the fast food places I've tried), according to Jack in the Box website, comes in at 620 calories.

No, you won't think that you are eating one of those big chicken fillets that many places serve, but you might be surprised as how satisfying a meat free chicken sandwich really can be.

Morningstar Farms Corn Dogs Veggie Dogs: 4 stars.
      I'm a junk food junkie from way back.    As such, I've always appreciated a good corn dog, especially when slathered with ketchup and yellow mustard.    Problem is, most frozen corn dogs weigh in at over two hundred calories, about half of them from fat.    On a whim one day, I decided to try the Morning Star Farms dogs, which weigh in at 150 calories, 30 of them from fat.    I found them to be surprisingly tasty.    The texture was fine (though maybe if I had scraped the batter of and just tested the dog this would be different).    I put a couple in the freezer, and my husband found them a while later.    He ate them, liked them, and was surprised when I told him they were meat free.    I wouldn't recommend living off of these things, but they are definitely less damaging than the full fat version, and very satisfying.

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