ABUSE MYTHS and DATE RAPE

Whether it is in the form of domestic violence, sexual abuse, child abuse, emotional abuse, or some other form of trauma, abuse affects the victim/survivor

Being a victim of abuse in and of itself is not a psychological or emotional disorder. When abuse has occurred, it is more likely that the victimized person will develop emotional or psychological problems because of being traumatized, such as post traumatic stress disorder, depression, and/or other anxiety disorders. However, being abused does not mean you will develop depression!

It is also important to know that everyone responds differently to abuse. There is no one right cluster of symptoms that someone will develop from being abused. There is also no one way for someone to respond to being abused; whatever ways an individual has tried to cope with being abused is okay, with the exception of abusing others.

No matter what type of abuse you may have experienced or are experiencing, or what emotional problems you may have incurred from such trauma, it is important to not blame yourself for being abused. We tend to want to blame ourselves for our problems, especially when we feel there is no other clear answer. "I shouldn't have been there, I could have prevented it." or "I was a bad child and deserved the emotional abuse I received..." or "I'm ugly, that's why he ignores me." Blaming the victim is common, but it doesn't make it right -- you are not to blame.

Nobody deserves to be physically, sexually, or emotionally abused as a child or as an adult. Abusive people are unable to effectively control or cope with their own anger and life. It is their own problem, and one that they then put on to you or someone you love. Don't take someone else's blame.

RAPE

MYTHS & DATE RAPE COMMON Q & HELP FEELINGS from rape CAMPUS PTSD

mAIN pAGE

Myths, Facts, Stats

COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS

MYTH 1

Domestic violence does not affect many people.

FACT

A woman is beaten every 15 seconds. (Bureau of Justice Statistics, Report to the nation on Crime and Justice. The Data. Washington DC Office of Justice Program, US Dept. of Justice. Oct 1983)
Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between ages 15 and 44 in the united States - more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined. (Uniform Crime Reports, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1991)
Battered women are more likely to suffer miscarriages and to give birth to babies with low birth weights. (Surgeon General, United States, 1992)
Sixty-three percent of the young men between the ages of 11 and 20 who are serving time for homicide have killed their mother's abuser. (March of Dimes, 1992)

MYTH 2

Battering is only a momentary loss of temper.

FACT

Battering is the establishment of control and fear in a relationship through violence and other forms of abuse. The batterer uses acts of violence and a series of behaviors, including intimidation, threats, psychological abuse, isolation, etc. to coerce and to control the other person. The violence may not happen often, but it remains as a hidden (and constant) terrorizing factor. (Uniform Crime Reports, Federal Bureau of Investigation, 1990)
"One in five women victimized by their spouses or ex-spouses report they had been victimized over and over again by the same person." (The Basics of Batterer Treatment, Common Purpose, Inc., Jamaica Plain, MA)

MYTH 3

Domestic violence only occurs in poor, urban areas.

FACT

Women of all cultures, races, occupations, income levels, and ages are battered - by husbands, boyfriends, lovers and partners. (Surgeon General Antonia Novello, as quoted in Domestic Violence: Battered Women, publication of the Reference Department of the Cambridge Public Library, Cambridge, MA)
"Approximately one-third of the men counseled (for battering) at Emerge are professional men who are well respected in their jobs and their communities. these have included doctors, psychologists, lawyers, ministers, and business executives. (For Shelter and Beyond, Massachusetts Coalition of Battered Women Service Groups, Boston, MA 1990)

MYTH 4

Domestic violence is just a push, slap or punch - it does not produce serious injuries.

FACT

Battered women are often severely injured - 22 to 35 percent of women who visit medical emergency rooms are there for injuries related to ongoing partner abuse. (David Adams, "Identifying the Assaultive Husband in Court: You be the Judge." Boston Bar Journal, 33-4, July/August 1989)
One in four pregnant women have a history of partner violence. (Journal of the American Medical Association, 1992)

MYTH 5

It is easy for battered women to leave their abuser.

FACT

Women who leave their batterers are at a 75% greater risk of being killed by the batterer than those who stay. (Barbara Hart, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, 1988)
Nationally, 50 percent of all homeless women and children are on the streets because of violence in the home. (Senator Joseph Biden, U.S. Senate Committee on the Judiciary, Violence Against Women: Victims of the System, 1991)
There are nearly three times as many animal shelters in the United States as there are shelters for battered women and their children. (Senate Judiciary Hearings, Violence Against Women Act, 1990)

DATING VIOLENCE and DATE RAPE

Dating violence is when one person purposely causes physical or psychological harm to another person they are dating, including sexual assault, physical abuse, and psychological/emotional abuse. It is a serious crime that occurs in both casual and serious relationships, and in both heterosexual and same-sex relationships. Sometimes, a victim might unknowingly be given alcohol or "date rape" drugs like Rohypnol. Date rape drugs are often slipped into a victim's drink while a person is in a social setting such as a club or party. These drugs, as well as alcohol, can make a person unable to resist assault, and have a type of amnesia so she is uncertain about what happened. The victim is then left to deal with the trauma of the sexual assault and the uncertainty surrounding the specifics of the crime. Unfortunately, most cases of dating violence are not reported to the police.

National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.

Rape, Abuse, Incest http://www.rainn.org/

Survivors of Incest http://www.siawso.org/

4 more info on violence http://www.4woman.gov

Trauma Recovery http://www.trauma-pages.com/

Three drug-facilitated sexual assault drugs (Date-Rape drugs)

GHB (gamma hydroxybutyric acid)
Rohypnol (flunitrazepam)
Ketamine (ketamine hydrochloride)

WHAT COULD HAPPEN FROM THESE DRUGS?

The drugs can affect you quickly. The length of time that the effects last varies. It depends on how much of the drug is taken and if the drug is mixed with other substances, like alcohol. Alcohol can worsen the drug's effects and can cause more health problems. Also, one drug — GHB — can be made by people in their homes, so you don't know what's in it.

GHB

GHB can cause these problems:

relaxation

drowsiness

dizziness

nausea

problems seeing

unconsciousness (black out)

seizures

can't remember what happened while drugged

problems breathing

tremors

sweating

vomiting

slow heart rate

dream-like feeling

coma

death

Rohypnol

Rohypnol can cause these problems:

can't remember what happened while drugged

lower blood pressure

sleepiness

muscle relaxation or loss of muscle control

drunk feeling

nausea

problems talking

difficulty with motor movements

loss of consciousness

confusion

problems seeing

dizziness

confusion

stomach problems

Ketamine

Ketamine can cause these problems:

hallucinations

lost sense of time and identity

distorted perceptions of sight and sound

feeling out of control

impaired motor function

problems breathing

convulsions

vomiting

out of body experiences

memory problems

dream-like feeling

numbness

loss of coordination

aggressive or violent behavior

slurred speech