Why is self

Many people who self-injure keep it a secret because they feel like they are crazy, insane and evil. They fear if they tell anyone, they might be locked away forever. The truth is, people who intentionally harm themselves are in fact very normal and sane people, who are in a lot of emotional pain. They self-injure as a way to cope, because they were probably never taught how to deal with intense feelings and emotions in healthy ways. Unfortunately, when people hear about this form of self-harm, they do tend to place labels on these people as being psychotic and crazy, which is why so many people do not come forward and ask for help. Until society dispels all the myths surrounding self-injury and start to educate themselves on this subject, sufferers will continue to keep quiet and this form of abuse will continue to be a secret for a long time to come.

What is SI/ Self Injury

Self Harm is the act of hurting oneself without the intention of suicide. There are 5 key components that define Self Harm :

Self Injury is a harmful act done to yourself. Do not mistake lashing out in anger at others as SI. Self Injury is only done by yourself. If anyone else does something to you that causes pain this is not Self Injury.

An act of Self Injury must include some sort of physical violence. Emotionally punishing yourself (calling yourself a bitch or thinking you're stupid, ugly, etc.) is not Self Injury.

An act of Self Injury is not done with the intention of killing yourself. People who slit their wrists to kill themselves, even though they have harmed their body, are not Self Injuring.

Self Injury is done intentionally. Not accidentally, but with the intent purpose of hurting yourself.

Cutting : Cutting, also known as slicing or slashing, is the most common way people hurt themselves. It is typically done with a knife, razor blade, piece of glass, or other sharp objects. Most of the cuts are done on the arms, legs, wrists, and chest; but other people cut on other parts of the body such as the stomach, face, neck, breasts, and genitals. But cutting on the arms and wrist is the most common because excuses can be made more easily (for example people can say that they had an accident while cooking).

Burning : Burning is another common way people hurt themselves. Usually done with cigarettes, lighters, matches, kitchen-stove burners, heated objects (branding irons or hot skillets), and burning objects. Sometimes people even use flammable substances such as gasoline, propane, alcohol, and lighter fluid. Similar to cutting, most people burn themselves on their arms, wrists, legs, and chest.

Interference with wound healing : Most people have unconsciously interfered with the healing of a wound but it is considered Self Harm when it is done deliberately. Some people remove stitches prematurely, stick objects such as needles, pins, etc. into the wound, or do other things to reopen the wound.

Hitting : Hitting themselves with their fists is another way that people hurt themselves that is most commonly done on the head or thighs. Although it may not seem as serious as cutting or burning it is done for the same reasons and results.

Extreme nail biting : It is common for most people to bite their nails. But when it is used as a form of Self Harm it is more severe and frequent than normal. It can result in the injury and damage of the fingernails or cuticles. People can bite their fingernails so much that they draw blood.

Scratching : Another common thing amongst most people scratching can become a form of Self Injury. People who use it as a method of Self Injury make it more extreme in frequency, intensity, and duration. Area's of skin can become raw or sometimes even bloody. Usually the scratching is done with the fingernails but sometimes it is done with a sharp or semi sharp object such as a knife, comb, or pencil. Sometimes it is done unconsciously.

Hair-pulling : Trichotillomania is 'the excessive and recurrent removal of your own hair resulting in a noticeable loss of hair,' is the only form of Self Injury recognized as a psychological disorder by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV). Usually the hair is removed from the scalp, eyebrows, or beard, but can be from any part of the body. The bald spots that result from Trichotillomania are usually covered with a hat, bandage, or sunglasses.

Breaking of bones : A form of Self Injury that is more rare than the others, the breaking of bones is a serious and severe form of Self Injury. Usually, people break their bones with an instrument such as a hammer, brick, or other heavy objects. But sometimes people throw themselves into walls or doors.

An extract from Steven Levenkron's 'Cutting' gives a good discription of the 'stereotypical' Self Harmer....

The cutter is often a white woman, middle class of above average intelligence who began cutting herself in adolescence. she has low self-esteem and may suffer from bouts of depression. she has trouble relating to people and forming intimate relationships. despite her smarts and education, she has an extremely hard time articulating her thoughts and feelings and a seemingly insatiable need for love and acceptance. because she did not internalize positive nurturing skills from her parents, she does not take very good care of herself and feels that she is too bad a person "to deserve comforts or luxuries."

the cutter is someone who experiences herself as powerless. she may not be docile, timid or shy in public; she may even be quite outgoing. but no matter how outgoing or confident she seems, she feels alone wherever she is, different from everyone around her, an outsider. she is often plagued by a fear of punishment - usually from a parent - for being deficient, inadequate, a disappointment in a way that was either specifically defined for her, or one that is unspoken but understood."

Like the anorexic, she may feel that she has no one to depend upon or trust with her emotions. that feeling alone will produce fearfulness most of the time, even when there is no immediate cause to fear. so, what we know about this person is that she is afraid, and she may hide behind obsessional thinking or eating disorders as well as self-mutilation to gain relief from her constant state of fear. she is seeking all the relief she can find from her fearfulness. often, she is a high achiever in some area, whether it is in academics, the arts, or athletics. at the same time, she may ignore (and usually does) subjects that don't interest her. her school record may fluctuate from a's to f's.

she is often apologetic even when she has done nothing to apologize for. she is fearful of what she sees as the imminent danger or resentment others will feel toward her. sometimes, her frequent gratuitous apologies stemming from this fear will annoy and alienate those friends closest to her. she may interpret their withdrawal as an indication that she has been offensive or not apologetic enough and increase the very behavior that repels those around her. still, she is a person generally liked by her peer group, who may identify on a very small scale with her vulnerability, a vulnerability that most of them are also experiencing to a lesser degree."

the self-mutilator has a history of being hurt, harmed or molested. when this is the case, mistrust is her security. she will constantly look for opportunities to mistrust helpers. she often invites harming behavior from her helpers thus confirming her need to mistrust them, as well as her need to hide and protect herself from those who seek to help her. she may do this in a passive manner by not talking during therapy sessions. seeming to daydream in order to escape any connection with her therapist, she is in fact constantly testing. her need to protect herself from others by mistrusting them could frustrate the less than determined helper. life has taught the self-harmer not to trust anyone, or in less severe cases, to be extremely wary. she will set up many tests for a person to pass before taking even a limited chance to risk such trust.