|
By Leo A. Kominek, Ph.D. next page
One of the most important and difficult skill one can hope to master in order to learn how to cope with an anxiety disorder is acceptance. What is acceptance? I see acceptance as a cognitive skill that functions at various cognitive-emotional levels.
On the first level, an anxious person (and I am one) can learn how to accept the discomfort that accompanies an anxiety disorder. Typical symptoms of this discomfort include shakiness (both inside and outside), rapid heartbeat or palpitations, stomach distress, sweating, dizziness, as well as numerous, other body sensations that feel distorted. An anxious person can learn to raise their tolerance for discomfort to a higher level in order not to obsess on these bodily sensations. In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) this is accomplished by changing one's interpretation of these sensations. For me this was accomplished by changing my interpretation of these types of sensations from "horrible, terrible things" to merely "uncomfortable." This required a willingness to rethink what was going on in my body and talk to myself about it in a healthier manner.
I used to think that my tight tense jaw muscles and other sensations were "intolerable" and I predicted that these sensations were going to lead to even higher anxiety. My experience in facing my fears and talking to myself about the truth of the sensations I felt eventually changed the interpretation from "horrible" to "uncomfortable." The truth is that a tight, tense jaw muscle is not a horrible or terrible sensation but at one time I believed that it was. I will not minimize the discomfort that you may experiences in these situations but only emphasize that with effort and persistence you can and will change the interpretation of these uncomfortable sensations. Acceptance is not approval of what is happening but only the process of telling yourself the truth about your present reality.
The second level of acceptance is even broader and more personal. It requires learning to approve of oneself in a very realistic way. If you are person with anxiety, it does no good to berate yourself over this fact. Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of or to feel guilty over since human beings do not have direct control over the emotions. You do not have to keep it a big secret or hide it from the world. I am an anxious person and have learned to be satisfied with myself even when feeling anxious. This was not always my belief. In the past I was very ashamed of feeling the way I did. However, by persistently talking to myself about my lack of control over anxiety my shame diminished to nonexistence. I can now truly admit to myself and (when appropriate) to others that I am a highly sensitive, anxious person and that's okay.
next page
|
|
