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By Andrea Lanier, Group Facilitator previous page
In this class, I learned all the different things that go into "making conversation," into communicating. This does not just involve what we say to each other, but also how we speak with our entire bodies without even realizing it and how we speak (think) to ourselves, and how this influences what we say and do, and so much more. Now, this may sound stupid to some. Yet, just because it looks so easy when we watch others communicate does not mean it is really easy. The class teaches first of all that communication is a complex and complicated process. Why else would an entire science occupy itself with understanding it.
The next class, "Public Speaking," I enrolled in as a part of my Communication Minor are Western Michigan University. To imagine how this class might be useful in coping with anxiety, don't just think of how scary it is to speak to a group of people. Image this: when you first drive a car, you don't just get in and drive without knowing how operate the car and without knowing the traffic rules and signs. So it really doesn't make any sense why anyone would want to give a speech without first learning how to do it. The class teaches how to research a speech, how to start it, how to organize it, how to finish it, how to move, to sound, to look, and everything else. It even teaches how to become less nervous, and that a little nervousness improves the speech. Coming to know all there is to know, putting it into action, and practicing a few times, giving a speech can even be fun. Finally, after getting some practice, even face-to-face communication becomes easier.
Now, even though I have taken many classes from which I have greatly benefited, the last one I want to tell you about is my most recent one: "Leadership and Communication." Yes, I realize not everyone, who reads this article wants to go out and become a leader of something, particularly if you are just beginning to learn how to cope with an anxiety disorder. But this class is about much more than just leadership in the way leadership is commonly understood. Usually, when we think of a leader, we may think of the president of a country or an organization. Or, we may think of Ghandi or Martin Luther King, Jr. But leaders exist in any situation where two or more people have a relationship, a friendship, a marriage, a social group on the job, a task group in school, and so forth.
Therefore, what this class is teaching me is how to find my place in any of the many relationships of my life and how to conduct myself in these relationships with confidence. Anytime you attempt to convince someone to follow your ideas or wishes, as simple as 'who does the dishes' or 'where to go for ice cream,' you are attempting to lead. Furthermore, leadership is always renegotiated. Sometimes you will be able to influence one or more individuals to follow your ideas and wishes, and other times you may find it wise to follow others. Learning about leadership can help you figure out easily when to follow and when to lead, and it can help you understand how to communicate more effectively as a leader or follower. Aside from valuable theoretical information, this class offers opportunities to practice what you read and hear by interacting with other students. Finally, since effective leaders are individuals who know themselves, this class is helping to identify and focus on what is really important to me, and how to use this knowledge as a guiding thread in my everyday life. Many people, who have to cope with anxiety, have learned that, to be safe, they have to be tuned only to the wishes of others instead of being true to themselves. And in some cases this has been a realistic and adaptive response at some time of their lives.
In conclusion, I'd like to say that I hope what I've shared inspires you. On the day, a few years ago, where I ran out of breath, my life seemed to be over. I was confused and scared. With a family history and social factors looming dark and menacing over my future, I had to learn to see that I could influence my destiny. But since then I have only moved forward, sometimes a little slower, not always perfectly, but very successful because I never gave up. I approach my life with confidence now. It is very important to know that being comfortable comes at the cost of not having any fun, of staying in one place, imprisoned by our thoughts. Being nervous at times is OK and sometimes even useful. There is a big world of beautiful rainbow colors and sounds, of rich experiences, out there waiting for all of us. But we must dare to reach for it all.
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