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By Leo A. Kominek, Ph.D. previous page
This was a serious problem for Janet but social phobia can be even more pervasive in people's lives.
It can make almost any performance in front of people a terrifying prospect.
Everyday tasks such as signing a check in front of a clerk, eating lunch with one's peers, talking to the boss, going to the bathroom, or going to a party can become a performance that is dreaded with high anxiety.
What causes this high anxiety in social situations? Many things can contribute to this condition but primarily the cause is genetics and our individual learning that leads to unrealistic attitudes and beliefs. The genetics we cannot change, but the unrealistic learning that causes anxiety can be replaced with more realistic attitudes and beliefs.
Some common unhealthy attitudes of people with social phobia:
You feel that others are judging you and that they would readily humiliate you.
You believe that you must impress people to get them to like and respect you. However, you don't think you have anything interesting or worthwhile to say that will impress them.
You don't believe that people would like the "real" you. You feel defective and inferior in comparison to others. If they found out about the "real" you they would brand you as a fraud and look down on you.
You believe that people always know how you are feeling inside, and that feelings of anxiety and shyness will be noticed and judged as foolish and unacceptable. You would rather die than let anyone know how anxious you are.
You have rigid standards about how you should act and feel in certain situations. People expect you to be polished, poised and perfect.
You are terrified that you will make a fool of yourself in front of others. Then everyone would know and look down on you.
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