Mainah Jokes


APPLICATION TO LIVE IN MAINE


You know you're a Mainah Redneck when you have 6 cahs in your yahd and you wahk to work.
 

So the outah statah says to the Down-Eastah....."There sure are a lot of funny looking people aound here" And tha Mainah says...."Yup....but come Labah Day, they'll awl be gawn"!
- Submitted by Barb&Rog L. (Columbia, Maine)


The Questions...

Q1. What is 140 feet long and has 9 teeth?

Q2. Did you hear they are opening a new zoo in Saco?

Q3. What are the three biggest lies in Maine?

Q4. How'd ya know the tooth-brush was invented in Maine?


The Answers...

A1. The fried dough line at the Cumberland County Fair.

A2. They are putting a fence around Biddeford.

A3.     1) The Trailah's phaid fuh
           2) She ain't muy sistah
           3) I was only Helpin' that goat ovah tha fence

A4. Cuz if was invented anywhere else it would be called the teeth-brush.



It seems a man in Topeka, Kansas, decided to write a book
about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco,
and started working east from there. He went to a very large church and
began taking photographs, etc. He spots a golden telephone on a
wall and is intrigued with a sign which reads "$10,000 a minute."
Seeking out the pastor he asks about the phone and the sign. The
pastor answers that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to
Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to God.
He thanks the pastor and continues on his way. As he continues
to visit churches in Seattle, Boise, Minneapolis, Chicago, Milwaukee,
New York, Atlanta, and on around the United States, he finds more phones,
with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor. Finally, he arrives
in Maine. Upon entering a church in Portland, low and behold, he sees the
usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign reads "Calls: 25 cents."
Fascinated, he requests to talk to the pastor. "Reverend, I have been
in cities all across the country and in each church I found this golden
telephone, and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and
that I could talk to God, but, in the other churches the cost was
$10,000 a minute. Your sign reads 25 cents a call. Why?"
 

The pastor, smiling benignly, replies, "Oh, my son, that's very
easy to explain. You see, you're now in Maine and, of course,
it's a local call from here."



Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God was missing for six days.
Eventually, Michael, the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.
He inquired of God, "Where have you been?" God sighed a deep sigh of
satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
"Look, Michael, look what I've made." Archangel Michael looked
puzzled and said, "What is it?" "It's a planet," replied God, "and I've
put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place
of balance." "Balance?", inquired Michael, still confused.
God explained, pointing to different parts of earth, "For example,
northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while
southern Europe is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will
be a hot spot. Over there I've placed a continent of white people and
over there is a continent of black people," God continued, pointing to
different countries. "This one will be extremely hot and arid while this
one will be very cold and covered in ice." The Archangel, impressed by
God's work, then pointed to a large land mass and said, "What's that one?"
"Ah," said God. "That's Maine, the most glorious place on earth. There are
beautiful lakes, rivers, sunsets, and rolling hills. The people from Maine are
going to be modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to be found
traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, and
high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats
and carriers of peace." Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then
proclaimed, "what about balance, God? You said there would be balance!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I'm putting next to
them in New Hampshire, and Massachusetts."



If one Maine feller is speaking to another it is not refered to as Aroostook, Co. It is simply: "The County"

You Know You're From Aroostook County (Maine) When...

You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and mustard.
You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
The mosquitoes have landing lights.
You have more miles on your snowblower than on your car.
You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
You thought "Grumpy Old Men" was a documentary.
The hardware store on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is three feet above the ground.
You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.
You think everyone from the city has an accent.
You think sexy lingerie is fleece socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.
You owe more money on your snowmobile than on your car.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires 6 pages for sports.
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
You head south to go to your cottage.
You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
The mayor greets you on the street by your first name.
There is only one shopping plaza in town.
The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
You find -60 a might chilly.
The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewels and your Sorels.
You can play road hockey on skates.
You can tell the difference between a chipmunk and a squirrel from 300 yards away.
Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.
You know the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
You actually "get" these jokes...



"A buck two-ninety-eight."

The answer to the question, "How much did that cost ya?"

- Submitted by Jessie Seymour (5th Generation Mainah)



One Saturday, a duck hunter was on his way home from a long day of hunting. He'd just crossed over the Carlton Bridge when he was pulled over by a Game Warden. The Warden walks up to his car to find the hunter's window rolled down.

"Can I help ya Warden?" He says.

"Well yes you can." The Warden says. "I noticed when I passed you that you were wearin' huntin' attire, and it's my job to inspect any game that you might have. Have you been huntin' today? If you bagged anything, I'll need to see it."

"Well yes sir, I got three ducks today - they're in the trunk." The hunter replied.

The hunter gets out of his car and walks back to the trunk, which he gladly opens. The Game Warden sees three ducks - lined up neatly in the trunk. He picks up one of the ducks and holds it up to the light, looking it over. Then he begins sniffing the duck- like a hound on a scent. Then he takes a finger and rams it up the ducks butt- all the way to the third knuckle. He pulls his finger out and sniffs it. Then he points that finger at the hunter.

"You shot this duck in New Hampshire - I need to see a New Hampshire hunting license- right now." The Warden demanded.

The hunter, who's amazed by this Warden's keen sense of smell pulls out his wallet and fumbles through it for a moment, finally producing the license. The Game Warden looks it over for a second and hands it back to the hunter.

"How in the world did you know where I shot that duck?" The hunter asked, totally baffled by how accurate the Warden's sense of smell is. "I've been a Game Warden for pretty nigh thirty-five years. You just get to know these things after awhile." The Warden replied.

He picked up the second duck and went through the same routine - first the sniffing - then the finger up the duck's butt. "You shot this one in Massachusetts din'cha? You sure do get around - now I need to see a Massachusetts license or you'll be in big trouble Chummy!" The Warden said, thinking he had him this time for sure.

The hunter, who by this time was totally in awe of this 'talent' that the Warden was displaying, reached for his wallet yet again - producing the requested license. "I can't believe it!" The hunter said, nearly falling on the ground in disbelief. "How did you know where I shot that duck?" "I told ya- it's many years of experience- I can tell by the smell." The Warden replied as he inspected the Massachusetts license. "So far, you're ok - but let's check out this last duck."

The Warden went through his routine yet again and put the final duck back into the trunk. At which time he turned to the hunter who was still aghast with disbelief. "All right," the Warden says, "you shot this one here in Maine, din'cha" He queried. "I'll need a Maine huntin' license right now - or you're gonna get written up." The flabbergasted hunter pulled out his wallet again, this time a little annoyed with the Warden, and produced his Maine hunting license. The Warden looked it over carefully and handed it back to the hunter. "Well," the Warden says, "it looks as though everything's in order. You're free to go."

The Warden walks back to his truck - but just before he got in, he turns back to the hunter, who's still standing next to his car - not believing what had just happened. "Wait a minute!" The Warden hollered. "I know you've been huntin' all over New England today- but where in the hell are you from anyway?" The hunter turned around, bent over, dropped his trousers, spreading his cheeks for the Game Warden to see. "You're so friggin' smart- you tell me."

- Submitted by Steve White (Formerly of Freeport, Maine- now exiled in Dallas, North Carolina)


I was walkin' on the beach in Old Orchard with a Lobsta in each hand when a Game Warden stopped me and said, "Did you know that I could fine you $15,000 per lobsta for pulling someone's trap?" I replied, "These lobstas are my pets. I've just brought them to the beach for a little swim. If I put them in the water, they will swim around a while and all I have to do is call them back to me." The game warden laughed and said, "Ok. Show me." So, I put the lobstas in the water and the game warden said, "Ok. Call them back now." I said, "Call who back?" He said, "The lobstas". I said, "What lobstas?"

- Submitted by Fred Shaw (from Windham, ME)


REDNECK CHRISTMAS (Original version for Arkansas):

'Twas The Night Before Christmas, And All Through The Shack,
Not A Darn Thing Was A Movin', From The Front To The Back.
The Kids Were In Bed, We Had Nine At The Time,
The Wife In Her Curlers, Was Lookin' Real Fine.
A Cold Wind Was Blowin', Up The Holler It Moaned,
Ten Dogs On The Porch All Howled And Groaned.
The Boys Were All Dreamin' Of Weapons And Guns,
For Killin' God's Creatures, ...There's No Better Fun!
The Girls In Their Feminine Dreams Were Attuned,
To Getting Those Gallons Of Wal-Mart Perfume.
The Wife Wanted Jewelry, Like Rings With Big Rocks.
I Just Wanted My Chevy Down Off Of Them Blocks.
Then Out In Yard, Such A Noise Did Commence,
Like Something Was Caught In Our New Bob-War Fence.
I Ran To The Window, And Saw Pretty Quick,
The Man Makin' That Racket, Was Good Ol' St. Nick.
You May Think Of Santa In You Own Mind's Eye,
Dressed In A Red And White Suit, But I've Got A Surprise.
That Old Boy's A Mainah, From Up Near ol' Bangor,
He Married His Cousin, And They Live In A Trailer.
On Christmas, Of Course, A Sleigh For His Rig,
He Hooks The Thing Up To A Razorback Pig!
He Climbed On The Roof, With His Bag Full Of Goodies,
He Backed Down The Fireplace, All Dirty And Sooty.
Fat Legs In His Britches, Chubby Hands In His Mittens,
I Must Admit From The Back, He Looked Lots Like Bill Clinton. **
He Turned Toward The Tree, His Eyes All Aglow,
He Was A Wicked Mainah From His Head To His Toe.
His Neck Was A Red One, His Shirt Said "Lite Beer",
He Had No Red Hat On, But His Cap Read "John Deere".
He Left All The Presents, With An Air Of Delight,
Then It Was Back To The Chimney, And Into The Night.
He Ran Into The Yard, Threw His Bag In The Sleigh,
Then He Yelled At The Dogs, "Get The Hell Out Th' Way!"
I Ran Out To Ask Him Why He Brought Such Good Cheer;
But Instead He Just Asked Me, "You Get You A Deer?"
Then I Heard Him Exclaim, As Those Pigs Took Flight,
"Merry Christmas To All...I Need A Bud Lite!"

** Anyone have a suggestion for someone other than "Bill Clinton"? - LoriLady


If you live(d) in Maine, then these will make sense...

1. Traffic Jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
2. "Vacation" means going to Bangor for the weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
6. You use a down comforter in the summer.
7. Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave them both unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as deer meat, beer, fish and berries.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
12. There are four empty cars running in the parking lot at the convenience store at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.
16. You know all four seasons: almost wintah, wintah, still wintah and construction.
17. You actually understand these jokes and send them to all your friends from Maine.


YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM MAINE IF...

You've had arguments over the comparative quality of Fried Dough.
You diet all week so you can consume 40,000 calories at a fair.
You eat ice cream with flavors like 'Moose Tracks" and "Maine Black Bear".
When it snows four inches you call it "a dusting."
You are surprised to discover there aren't fried clam shacks elsewhere in the country.
You know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them.
Your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May.
You can drive the Augusta traffic circles without breaking into a cold sweat.
You've hung out at a gravel pit.
You think a mosquito could be a species of bird.
You once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old Orchard Beach or Reid State Park.
Even your school cafeteria made good chowder.
You know how to pronounce Calais and Machias.
You know that The Airline has nothing to do with planes.
You've made a meal out of a Jordan's red-skinned hot-dog and a bag of Humpty Dumpty potato chips
You know that a chocolate doughnut is not a white doughnut with chocolate frosting.
You've gone to a bean supper.
You know the difference between pea, Yellow-eye, and Red Kidney
You wouldn't eat beans in tomato sauce or Manhattan clam chowder if you were starving!
In high school, you (or a friend) packed Deering or Gifford Ice Cream cones.
At least once in your life, a seagull pooped on you.
At least once in your life you've said, "It smells like the mill in here."
Every summer and fall, there's a fruit and vegetable stand within 10 minutes of your house.
You call that long sandwich an "Italian" .
Your idea of a traffic jam is being the second car at the stoplight.
Your house converts to a B&B every July & August for people from away that you happen to know.
All year long you're tracking sand in the house-from the beach in the summer and the roads and sidewalks in the winter.
You have a front door but no steps to get to it.
Your kids start using "wicked" as a multipurpose part of speech.
You start your shopping by looking in Uncle Henry's.
You have shopped at the Big Chicken Barn.
You've ditched the car on the side of the road somewhere because you thought you saw some good fiddleheads!
You've had a vacation from school just to help the family pick potatoes.
You know a lobster pot is a trap, not a kettle.
You know not to plant tender crops until the last full moon in May.
You go to the dump and bring back more than you brought.
You've taken a date to the dump to watch the bears
You watch "Murder She Wrote" and snicker at the stupid fake accents.
You've swum in a quarry.
You take the New Hampshire toll personally.
You feel really good when you cross the Piscatiqua River Bridge into Kittery.
You always wave when you see a Maine license plate in another state.
You've used a roll of Duct tape and a can of flat black spray paint to get your car to pass inspection.
You have to replace your mailbox yearly because of the town plow.
When you're supposed to dress up, you wear flannel with a tie.
You know that Moody's Diner does NOT take credit cards!
When the word "stove" refers to what you did to the right front fender of your truck going around the Augusta rotaries
When there's too much "stuff" in your 2 "cah" garage to get either of your cars into it.
When you know what fly dope is.
When you eat supper at night and dinner at noon.
As a child, you played outside in a snow storm without hat, mittens, scarf and with your jacket open because it was just a little cool.
The area around your back door is referred to as "the dooryard".


You Know You're From Maine When...

You've had arguments over the comparative quality of Fried Dough.
You call four inches of snow "a dusting."
You don't understand why there aren't fried clam shacks elsewhere in the county.
You know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them.
You knew all the flavors at Perry's Nut House.
Your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May.
You can drive the Augusta traffic circle without slowing down.
You've hung out at a gravel pit.
You think a mosquito could be a species of bird.
You once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old Orchard Beach or Reid State Park.
Even your school cafeteria made good chowder.
You've almost fallen asleep driving between Houlton and Presque Isle.
You know how to pronounce Calais.
You've made a meal out of a Jordan's re! d dye hot-dog, a bag of Humpty Dumpty potato chips and a can of soda.
You've gone to a Grange bean supper.
In high school, you (or a friend) packed Deering Ice Cream cones.
At least once in your life, a seagull pooped on your head.
At least once in your life you've said, "It smells like the mill in here."
There's a fruit and vegetable stand within 10 minutes of your house.
You crave Italian sandwiches at least weekly.
Your house converts to a B&B every July and August for people from away that you happen to know.
All year long you're tracking sand in the house-from the beach in the summer and the roads and sidewalks in the winter.
You have to have the sand cleaned out of your brake system every spring.
You do the majority of your shopping out of Uncle Henry's.
You've ditched the car on the side of the road somewhere because you thought you saw some good fiddleheads!
You know a lobs! ter pot is a trap, not a kettle.
You know not to plant tender crops until the last full moon in May.
You go to the dump and bring back more than you brought.
You've watched "Murder she Wrote" and snickered at the stupid fake accents.
You know how to find the rope swing at the quarry.
You take the New Hampshire toll personally.
You always wave when you see a Maine license plate in another state.
When you're supposed to dress up, you wear flannel with a tie.
There's too much "stuff" in your 2 "cah" garage to get either of your cars into it.
You know what a frappe is.
L.L. Bean's not just a store, it's a way of life.
"The City" means exclusively Portland.
"Salt damage" is a viable insurance claim.
All of the traffic lights blink yellow at 10 o'clock at night.
It's not a storm - it's a Nor'eastah.
"Open 24/7" might as well be Greek.
More stores have "Bienvenue! " flags than "Welcome" flags.
You eat ice cream with flavors like 'Moose Tracks" and "Maine Black Bear".
You know that a chocolate doughnut is not a white doughnut with chocolate frosting.
You wouldn't eat beans in tomato sauce or Manhattan clam chowder if you were starving!
As a child, you played outside in a snow storm without hat, mittens, scarf and with your jacket open because it was just a little cool.
The area around your back door is referred to as "the dooryard".
You eat potato chips with flavors such as "clam dip", "ketchup" and "dill pickle".
You call the basement "downcellah."
There is only one shopping plaza in town. .
You use "wicked" as a multipurpose part of speech
Your pickup has more mud on it then the ground around it for a 15 foot radius.
More than 1/2 the meat in your freezer is moose.
You enjoy a hot chocolate more than a margarita.
If your "luxury vehicle" ! is a twelve-year-old rustbucket on wheels.
If your dog eats better than you do, and more often too.
If you never say what you paid for an item but how much you "give" for it.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Maine.


Those of you outside of New England may not be able to relate, especially this week when highs are in the single digits, but this is a good read! Go Patriots!!

New England Temperature Conversion Chart

60 F: Southern Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in New England sunbathe

50 F: New Yorkers try to turn on the heat. People in New England plant gardens.

40 F: Italian and English cars won't start. People in New England drive with the windows down.

30 F: Distilled water freezes. Maine's Moosehead Lake's water gets thicker.

20 F: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in New England throw on a flannel shirt.

15 F: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in New England have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0 F: All the people in Miami die...New Englanders close the windows.

10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. The Girl Scouts in New England are selling cookies door to door.

25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. People in New England get out their winter coats.

40 below zero: Washington D.C. runs out of hot air. People in New England let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. New Englanders get frustrated because they can't start their "kahs."

460 below zero: All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale). People in New England start saying... "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

500 below zero: Hell freezes over. The Red Sox win the World Series. GO SOX! It finally happened!! http://boston.redsox.mlb.com/


Maine Girls

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Alabama, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning,dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Maine girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher,and telephone a landscaper.

Got to love them Maine girls!


Why I love New England

It's winter in New England
And the gentle breezes blow,
Seventy miles an hour,
at fifty-two below.
Oh, how I love New England
When the snow's up to your butt.
You take a breath of winter air
and your nose, it freezes shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
So I guess I'll hang around.
I could never leave New England
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground


Maine Barbies

Mattel recently announced the release of Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Maine Market
Note: These are bad, but I couldn't resist adding them to the list of jokes...

Falmouth Barbie
This princess Barbie is only sold at exclusive Portland stores. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only inconjunction with "augmented" version.

Yarmouth Barbie
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

Westbrook Barbie
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash. Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.

Cape Elizabeth Barbie
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H3. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.

Waterville Barbie
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six pack of Coors light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she's drunk. Purchuse her pickup truck separately and get a Confederate Flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

SugarLoaf Barbie
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print ski outfit and drinks Cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the lodge. Optional Percocet prescription available.

Old Orchard Beach Barbie
This tobacco chewing, brassy haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Newport Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes lowrise acid washed jeans, fake finger nails, and a see-through halter top. Also available with a mobile home and 8-track tape player.

Portland Barbie
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Portland Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag sticker for free.

Farmington Barbie
This Barbie comes with her own mountain bike. Available with SUV, complete with Kayak on the roof and dog in the back. Optional Ken doll also comes with his own mountain bike and dog.

Biddeford Barbie
This Barbie is only 14 and comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

Augusta Barbie
This chain smoking, beer chugging model has a low rise jeans complete with muffin tops, for that extra something to hold on to. She has a lower back tattoo, cuz she's kinda slutty like that. She drives a 1995 Ford Probe, and thinks she can dance better then you can. She comes complete with drug-dealing Ken, who doesn't have a car or his license because he's on probation. Navel piercing sold separately.

Bangor Barbie
This Barbie comes with tangled hair and missing teeth. She is sporting LA Gear sneakers, tapered Jeans and a B.U.M. equipment belly shirt. Bangor Barbie is also available with bearded Ken who serves as her cousin/boyfriend.


Check out these lovely lobster links:


DISCLAIMER:
Remember, these are for fun and they do not aim to insult anyone, so just laugh, okay?
And, please send me your favorites!
01-01-07