MAINE COMPUTER TECHNOLOGY
1. Log on - Make the wood stove hotter.
2. Log off - Don't add no more wood.
3. Monitor - Keep an eye on that wood stove.
4. Download - Getting the firewood off the truck.
5. Floppy disk - What you get from trying to carry too much firewood.
6. Ram - The thing that splits the firewood.
7. Hard Drive - Getting home in the winter.
8. Prompt - What the mail ain't in the winter.
9. Window - What to shut when it's cold outside.
10. Screen - What to shut in black fly season.
11. Byte - What the black flies do.
12. Bit - What the black flies did.
13. Mega Byte - What the BIG black flies do during trout season.
14. Chip - Munchies for TV.
15. Micro Chip - What's left in the bag after you eat the chips.
16. Modem - What you did to the weeds growing in the driveway.
17. Dot matrix - Old Dan Matrix's wife.
18. Lap top - Where the beer spills when you pass out.
19. Software - The dumb plastic knives and forks they give you at McDonald's.
20. Hardware - Real stainless steel cutlery.
21. Mouse - What makes the holes in the Cheerios box.
22. Main frame - What holds the house up, hopefully.
23. Enter - The only way to win those magazine ad sweepstakes.
24. Web - What a spider makes.
25. Web site - The high corners of a ceiling.
26. Cursor - Someone who swears.
27. Search Engine - What you do when the car dies.
28. Screen Saver - A repair kit for the torn window screen.
29. Home Page - The map you keep in your back pocket just in case you get lost in the woods.
30. Upgrade - A steep hill.
31. Server - A waitress.
32. Mail Server - A male waitress. (damn few in Maine)
33. MS DOS - Some new disease they discovered.
34. Sound Card - One of them birthday cards that plays music when you open it.
35. User - The neighbor who keeps borrowing stuff.
36. Browser - An annoying moose in the Garden or Blueberry Patch.
37. Network - Mending holes in the fishnet.
38. Internet - Complicated fishnet repair method.
39. Netscape - What haddock do when you don't do your network.
40. Online - I got `em!! It's a big one, I just know it!!
41. Off line - Son of a gun!! He got away, again!!