Reiki and "Significant Others"

Once a person starts to learn subtle energy healing modalities, such as Reiki {but not limited to Reiki}, a familiar pattern emerges when that person is dealing with their "significant other". Unless the "significant other" is also engaged in such studies, often there can be tension, or at least a confusion about what the energywork is doing and experiencing. As a Reiki student goes through training and attunement, with its typical clearing, the student is likely to experience at least temporary changes in emotion and outlook.. some of these changes are very temporary; others may last a lifetime.

The "significant other" may feel that they have been left out of something which is very special to their partner, which is either difficult to share, or impossible to share, depending on the verbal skills of the energywork student. The "significant other" may wonder about their partner's loyalty, or even about their sanity. Certainly, the idea of a "stranger" placing their hands on one's significant other creates a potential stress [this also can happen if one person is going to someone for massage therapy or other bodywork]. Much of what the student will be learning is not in the everyday concepts of the average person in this country. Much of the terminology is from other cultures [our cultures does not have adequate words to describe much of energywork]. The "other" may even feel that their own upbringing makes Reiki a violation of their ethics or religion. This may bring to a head any issues or disagreements which the couple has already been dealing with. The relationship with the Reiki Master may be seen as too close or a "bad influence", a threat to the integrity of the relationship. Often, problems lying below the surface of the relationship may become activated.

Some of the changes in the energywork student's life may be:

  • increase in awareness of subtle differences or changes in their environment
  • a period of increased dreaming, with items in the dreams relating to energywork
  • increased emotional lability [changing easily from emotion to emotion] and sensitivity
  • a temporary change in libido, either more or less
  • a re-evaluating of their relationships and goals
  • a change or intensification in their personal philosophy of life, or the desire for such a philosophy
  • increase or decrease in their traditional religious activities
  • a feeling of having found their personal path
  • increased patience and tolerance for others, and for oneself
  • increased outgoing behavior especially towards those who need help
  • a desire to share energywork with the significant other, or at least with friends

I always warn a prospective student about all of this, since I want to provide the best possible knowledge of the whole training process. Hopefully, there will be no great surprises along the way. It is probably very good to share this material with the "other" so that they may be better prepared and able to share in the process to the extent that they might choose. I will always allow a "significant other" to be present during a Reiki session. [Allowing this in a Reiki class, however would constitute "two students for the price of one"; I do not permit this]. Everyone should know that most of these changes are transitory or beneficial to all concerned. In any case, this is matter which any couple should discuss completely, and make the decisions to continue this kind of study with the relationship in mind.