Get
your ‘unclean’ books at Marks and Spencer!
When George Costanza was eight years old he tried to
purchase a copy of Lady Chatterley’s Lover at a bookstore in Manhattan.
“Aren’t you a little young for dirty books, kid?” asked the clerk. George was humiliated.
The clerk took his money. Something similar happened to a grandmother, Mrs.
Sally Friday, 69, in England at a Marks and Spencer bookstore, only it wasn’t a
dirty book that was in contention. It was First Bible Stories. The clerk
said it was ‘unclean.’ Unclean? Not First Bible Stories! Was the clerk some kind of a nut? Was her
headdress screwed on too tight? Unclean? Not First Bible Stories!
“It appears that there has been some misunderstanding over what was said,” suggested a Marks and Spencer spokesman. A source close to the shop assistant said, “I think there was some confusion over what the customer heard.”
Heard? The word was ‘unclean’ and it was applied to the book grandma laid on the counter by the cash register. It was First Bible Stories not Lady Chatterley’s Lover. And it wasn’t what grandma had wanted to hear! To add insult to injury the clerk refused to touch the book. Another clerk was summoned to handle the sale. Grandma “felt very humiliated and immediately left the store.”
The clerk should have been cashiered or court-martialed or something or at least made to write one hundred times on the store bulletin board, “I will respect the human, civil and religious rights of all customers regardless of race, religion or condition of servitude.”
Damage control was instantaneous. It had to be—the clerk was a Muslim. “There was some misunderstanding over what was said.” “There was some confusion over what the customer heard.” Sure, Grandma hadn’t heard right. Maybe it was her hearing aid. Should get those batteries checked every other month. A Marks and Spencer spokesperson said they, “were surprised by the ‘alleged’ incident.” Alleged? Isn’t the customer always right?
If Marks and Spencer intend to hire more Muslim clerks they should post a list of things Muslims consider ‘unclean’ next to every cash register to warn the customers. Of course, if Grandma saw that as an unbeliever, a Kafir, she was 8th on the list she might never return to Marks and Spencer.
But if the book was unclean and Grandma was ‘unclean’ then it was the clerk that was in jeopardy—double jeopardy; exposed to two unclean things! No Muslim should be forced to go through something like that! No, sir! Marks and Spencer should take steps to make sure this doesn’t happen again!
They should never have given that woman a job waiting on customers. She should have been stocking shelves—that’s what! Well, maybe not stocking shelves—there are all those religious books, including First Bible Stories—and the Debbie Does Dallas Coloring Book is coming out next month! Maybe they should have put her in the shipping room. She could unload trucks. Yeah! They could get her a weightlifters belt and she could go to it. It’s great exercise. Of course, those cartons are pretty heavy, especially the ones full of Bibles. Oh, oh, that might not be such a bright idea. Somebody has to open those cartons, unpack the books. Some of them could be offensive—unclean! Say! How about a broom and a dustpan! She could sweep the floor after the deliverymen get done and then clean the lunchroom—dispose of the leftover ham sandwiches and pork rinds. Oh, oh, pork rinds! Darn-it, another good idea shot down! Isn’t there something this woman can do? How about patrolling the adult section? She could keep an eye on George Constanza while he browses through Lady Chatterley’s Lover and The Illustrated Life and Times of the Marquis de Sade. What? They might be unclean? How about security?
“Mission control! We have a problem!
Inayat Bunglawala, assistant secretary-general of the Muslim Council of Britain, was dismayed. “This appears to be a very regrettable incident and the ‘unclean’ remark was clearly very offensive and unacceptable,” he said, “Many Biblical stories compliment the teachings of the Koran.” Many? Perhaps. But the Qur’an is not always complimentary to the Bible.
Qur’an 5:17 “Verily they are disbelievers and infidels who say, ‘The Messiah, son of Mary, is God.’”
Qur’an 5:49 “And this (He commands): Judge between them
by what Allah has revealed and follow not their (Christian) desires, but beware
of them lest they beguile you, seducing you away from any of that which Allah
hath sent down to you. And if they turn you away (from being Muslims), be
assured that for their crime it is Allah’s purpose to smite them. Truly most
men are rebellious.”
It would seem Christianity is slightly out of line with the teachings of Islam. Jizya anyone?
And what about Bunglawala? How complimentary is he to the society in which he thrives? He says Zionists control the media: BBC programs are very very pro-Israel. He was much dismayed by the Teddy Bear incident in Sudan but when asked to condemn the practice of stoning women to death for adultery he said, “So you are asking me to condemn my Prophet.”
Bunglawala on Holocaust Day: “There have been many further instances of genocide and mass killings since we vowed ‘never again’ in response to the Nazi crimes. Do the innocent killed in those horrific episodes not equally deserve to be commemorated in a more inclusive and aptly titled Genocide Memorial Day?” Rwanda…Sudan…Indonesia…Saddam’s mass killings in Iraq…Sulawesi… no, he was referring to the ‘genocide’ in Palestine.
On Salman Rushdie: “He is pompous, heartless and self-regarding…He drove me closer to my faith.”
Referring to Mrs. Sally Friday, he said, “We hope Marks and Spencer will investigate that incident.” What else could he say? I want that heartless clerk prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law? Hanging is too good for her? (It is unlikely the clerk insulted Mrs. Friday on her own hook. No Muslim woman would take such a great responsibility without the prompting and the knowledge of support in the right places)
But Bunglawala can be tough. Take Omar Bakri Mohammed for instance. “No Muslim should shed any tears if he (Omar) was not allowed back in (England) because he helped to create the climate of anger…(but) there is a danger that it created a precedent.” And no one wants to create a precedent whereby a Muslim—any Muslim—can be sent beyond the Pale.
Now is not the time to stir up the dhimmis—let sleeping dogs lie, a few more incidents like the one at Marks and Spencer and some of the unbelievers may wake with a start and realize their cherished rights are being stripped away. Fortunately most of them will scarcely notice. The Caliphate is still years away—wait till the ground is more conducive to Muslim demands. Unclean is unclean—they will have to learn that—and the man who will not go against his Prophet even in the stoning of women will not go against Islam.
Has anyone asked Bunglawala if he thought First Bible Stories was unclean and, if he did, which parts? It would make for an interesting conversation.