ALL
ATWITTER AT THE ROUNDTREE FOUNDATION… “You will have to make the ‘Asians’ feel
at home, Andy.”
“Have any of that halal beer?”
Muslim immigrants just don’t feel at home in England and it’s Andy Capp's fault and, maybe Maggie Thatcher’s and John Bull’s, the flora and fauna of English civilization—there’s too much of it and it seems to be gaining strength rather than disappearing into a Caliphate. Multiculturalism has fallen out of favor says the Joseph Roundtree Foundation, a liberal social policy research and development charity. (Roundtree is heavily invested in multiculturalism) Trevor Phillips of Roundtree has done his best to warn England that the country is “sleepwalking toward segregation” and the Foundation’s latest report seems to bear it out. “A perceived lack of acceptance in the UK has negatively affected the sense of belonging for all recent and established migrants in Britain.” Muslim immigrants, in particular, face so much hostility and discrimination they don’t feel at home.
Well, if that‘s true, times have certainly changed! When Ben Franklin was in London he was treated like a King—well, almost—and so were Benedict Arnold and Judah P. Benjamin. Say! Is there any hard evidence that the Roundtree assumptions are correct?
There certainly is! Why just the other day English medical authorities told Muslim women doctors they wouldn’t be allowed to perform open-heart surgery if they wore hijabs or burkas! Really? What gall! What colossal nerve! The James Boys wore bandannas when they robbed banks and it didn’t impair their vision a one bit! And no Ku Kluxer ever singed his fingers while burning a cross because he was wearing a hood! Gosh! Besides—patients undergoing open-heart surgery don’t care who’s operating on them as long as it isn’t Doctor Kevorkian and he isn’t using garden shears. Gosh! Talk about being ridiculous!
And how about Salman Rushdie? Wasn’t that bizarre? Words can hurt! If Rushdie is such a smart guy couldn’t he have found a less offensive way to insult Islam? Couldn’t he have put the Prophet in Madonna’s loo instead of in a house of ill repute? Why did he write that book? Why did he come to England? Why did the Crown protect him? Andy Capp can’t read Arabic.
Sir Iqbal Sacranie was outraged and one can’t blame him. He protested but what good did it do? Sir Iqbal is a man among giants; he’s intellectual infinitude; he is just and humane; he’s probably kind to dogs; he thought the whole thing over and came to the conclusion that Rushdie should not be killed no matter what the fatwa said. What a gallant bloke! “Death is too good for Rushdie,” he said.
When Sacranie invited Osama bin Laden to a London “Revival Rally” in 1996 the Crown objected. It was because of the Jews. The British always liked the Jews better. Maybe if the Brits had been kinder to Osama…
When Sir Iqbal refused to participate in Holocaust Memorial Day in 2005 because the 10 million Palestinians murdered by the Israelis were not included, the organizers went ahead without him. Hold it! Ten Million? Isn’t that a bit high? Wasn’t it somewhat less? It could be—people who are discriminated against tend to exaggerate.
But the insults never cease! The Satanic Verses, Holocaust Memorial Day…and, remember, the Queen knighted Salman Rushdie! A slap in the face to all Muslims! She made a heretic the Iqbal of Sir Equal Sacranie! (Sir Equal Sacranie? That doesn’t sound right. It is easy to get excited over these things) And now Rushdie is not only the Iqbal of Sacranie he is also superior to Tariq Ramadan and Inayat Bunglawala. Aramis resigned from The Three Musketeers for less! Sure.
And if England is a multicultural heaven why are the police cracking down on female genital circumcision (incorrectly labeled mutilation)? Have they no respect for other cultures? Do they know how dark and dirty it is in those back alleys? (Female Genital Mutilation was banned under British Law in 2003. Few if any practitioners of FGM have been arrested. Police believe up to 60,000 girls are at risk annually. One midwife said she treats 400 to 500 victims of botched circumcisions every year)
And look at Abu Hamza—poor fellow, locked away in jail, forced to listen to loud rock music day and night! What kind of life is that? He was taken from his family, his welfare checks, his unpaid preaching job—his only enjoyment in life—and tossed into jail with such creeps and thugs as would have made Holmes and Bond shudder. And for what…for possessing what the authorities determined to be a terrorist’s encyclopedia under some vague clause in the Terrorist Act? The Terrorists Act! It is getting so a literate man can’t keep up with his reading without being arrested! It’s no wonder half of all Muslims in England would prefer Sharia Law! How will the Brits ever convince the Abu Hamzas that England understands and appreciates them? It won’t be easy.
And Omar Bakri, poor Omar Bakri—look at poor Omar Bakri! How he was treated would have brought tears to the eyes of Ebenezer Scrooge! He had lived in England for 20 years—20 years—and then he took a little trip to Lebanon and when it came time for him to return, the Crown said he couldn’t! Why? Was it something he said? Every government can stand a little criticism. None of the things he said were any worse than what Jeremiah Wright has been saying about America for the last 20 years. “Why I condemn Osama bin Laden for?” he asked, “I condemn Tony Blair, I condemn George Bush. I would never condemn Osama bin Laden.” Isn’t that what Red Ken Livingstone and George Galloway have been saying?
Why should anyone be surprised if Omar Bakri thinks he’s being persecuted? And he’s a family man just like Abu Hamza! Who’s been taking care of his kids? Madonna? Andy Capp? Maybe Heather Mills with that recent windfall could be of some help.
And the 7/7 bombers—alone, ignored, facing a hostile environment—what else could have been expected of them?
“It is this perception of being unwelcome and of discrimination rather than attachment to their country of origin,” says the Roundtree report, “that diminishes a sense of belonging in British society, and there is thus need to address public attitudes towards Muslims and towards migrants as a key component of cohesion strategy.”
Uh-huh. Well, everyone will have to do his part. Let there be no shirkers. They will be made welcome. But please, no more talk of converting churches and synagogues into mosques. And stop calling them ‘Asians,’ the Japanese and the Chinese are going to get angry. Oh, yeah, and have Andy Capp drop off a pint at Mohammed’s or Abdul’s on the way home from the pub tonight. It’s a good icebreaker…get them to loosen up a little…
Yeah, sure…