05/02/07

Sometimes I'd like to sit down and write something that I've thought about for some time. I hate to write things half-baked. On the other hand, I like to write free-flow. I like the way the words come out in combination, fast and furious, no holds barred, letting the mind go, a bit, or if I'm on my game, completely.

In the glorious basking glow of relaxation post-exams, I've watched several films, including Finding Forrester, which is a film about a young Black writer in the Bronx who has extraordinary talent, and who finds an unlikely mentor in a Pulitzer prize winning author who has hermitted himself in an apartment in the neighborhood. It's a terrific, inspiring film.

In one scene, William Forrester is coaching Jamaal Wallace. He sets a typewriter in front of him and says, "Go ahead."

"What?"

"Write!"

In puzzlement, Mr. Wallace sits in front of the machine and thinks, and struggles.

"I can't think of anything to write," says Wallace.

"No," says Forrester, wagging his finger.

"Don't think. You write your first draft with your heart," says Forrester, "and you write your second draft with your head."

Forrester gives him a paper that he wrote in 1960, and tells him to type those words, and then he advises that when he finds his own words, to write those.

This is something that is true - the best writing is done for oneself. You simply sit down, and start, and then it flows, and it continues to flow, if you're lucky, and you can disinhibit, until before you realize it, you have a paper in front of you that is full of ink, and splayed with words that tell a story, or make a point, or get your heart out there. Perfection is not required.

I remember the first time that I was made aware that I had a gift for writing well, an arguable assertion. I delayed taking the upper division writing requirement at UCI because I thought writing was an odious task. So my last semester, I took the course. We had to read, and had to write on the reading. Ten-page papers...

One of the books was called Three Scientists and Their Gods.  The topics resonated with me - of science, evolution, creation, the role of God in Life, and the idea of a super-organism that our species makes up in the universe. It was compelling for me, and I wrote from my heart, tying together a theme that I found among the ideas of the three scientists.

My teacher gave the only A+ she ever gave, but that was not the factor that convinced me that I was meant to write about what I see in life. Rather, we had a conversation about my writing. She asked me if I ever write, and I said no, but I instantly thought about India, from where I had just come, visiting with friends for a month. During that trip, I kept a journal, and that journal was over a hundred pages. So in that instant, I realized that maybe I do write. How about that. I still discounted the teachers praise of my writing - I couldn't possibly be that good. But after the fact, and after many comments in favor of my writing, I accept that I have been blessed with a gift in writing things that are interesting to people, sometimes, and sometimes not.

I think of late on this blog, my writing has been morose and melancholy. Maybe I'm depressed. More likely is the fact that I have placed myself in a position on this globe that puts me in proximity to a lot of death - young death - and that, friends and family, is depressing. But I'm not depressed. Rather, I am reporting the facts that are overlooked and easily missed by billions on our planet. These include the fact that an astronomical number of young people, of recent child-bearing age, are dying of stupid, unnecessary, and preventable disease. If I am meant to do something on this planet, it is to help those who are in this situation, and to broadcast their plight over a very wide frequency.

At times I would like to leaven the tone of this blog. Sometimes I feel like a toad - writing death notice after death notice, but these are the emotional impacts I am getting, and thus these are the things that come to my mind when I let the fingers flow. If it makes one uncomfortable, well, so be it. Not all of us humans have the chance to live in such a comfortable place. 

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Maggie and I just came from Katrina Julian and her mom's organ recital at a local Methodist church. It was amazing. The sounds that they can make with an organ are amazing. It's such a complicated collection of sounds - it's fascinating. Katrina was kind enough to invite a number of UASOMers into this aspect of her life. She and her mom played about ten numbers, many by Bach, and including several renditions of Oh Come All Ye Faithful. I'd like to see her in action playing, from behind the keyboard, to see how they manage to generate so many different tones...

In attendance from the UASOM were Michael Lyerly, Inkyung Kim, and Kexuan Wang.

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Estelle finished up with her finals today, at 9:30. I went to pick her up in a Saab that I am considering buying after the rear-ender totaling of my car on Nov. 23rd. Estelle felt OK about her math final. Math and Physical Sciences are the subjects that give her the most trouble, while she excels in geography, theology, and does quite well in English. I'm very proud.

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This year has had some significant highlights. Here are the top five, in debatable order:

1. Estelle Chisha immigrates to the United States.

2. Maggie McMumbi earns her GED, marking the fruition of a few years of effort, and the first woman in her family to achieve a high-school graduation.

3. I get to see Uncle Norris and Aunt Patti. Uncle Norris underwent quintuple bypass, and I hadn't had a chance to see them in this calendar year. Great to see them during the Thanksgiving holiday. Much for which to give thanks.

4. I made it through the hardest part of US medical school. I'll leave it with a Hallelujah.