06/25/2004

Life, in a Pinch

Friday night, June 25th.

Cheers, All.

Life is a busy endeavor, don't you know, and I'm pleased to report on it, and even more pleased if you might still be reading two or three paragraphs into it.

This has been a rich week of activity - mainly activity for my mind. There are several things going on in my life that require thought, careful consideration, and well, this is the time to pour it out, sift through it, and figure out what the hell is going on these days. I've got the imminent beginnings of a medical career, and there is apprehension and excitement that carries me nearly every waking hour. I've got a couple of family members who have just received an HIV+ diagnosis, and they are seeking the hope that medicine can provide for a life that they thought they would have, were it not for this dramatic, difficult, incurable disease. I've got some advice flowing in about how to go about learning that same medicine. I've got worries of money and I've got potential solutions to that worry. I've got fitness improving, and a web site to document it. I've got family living nearby, far away, and in between here and there. The air conditioning for our home may be going out soon. I noticed a funny sound coming from the A/C unit outside a little while ago. We've got a daughter living 8,500 miles away from us, and the missing that we feel is everpresent. I've got a favorite uncle living in difficult times after a quintuple bypass and a poor immediate outcome. What else...? Isn't that enough? It's more than enough.

So let's start with the most important issue, and that is survival of family. A woman and her husband have been diagnosed with HIV. Through our network of friends in Zambia, most prominently Dr. Moses Sinkala, M and M will be enrolled in the President's Emergency Plan for AIDS Relief (PEPFAR) in Zambia. Were it not for Bush's policy on providing over $15 billion for AIDS Care and prevention in Zambia and 14 other countries (Viet Nam announced today, 12 countries in Africa, and two in the Caribbean) this hope would not exist. I worked in Zambia when hope was a distant fog, out of reach as thousands in Zambia and millions in sub-Saharan Africa died. Now, as Harry Saag states in his film (March, 2004), there is hope. My prayer and efforts are focused on doing whatever it takes to make sure that M & M can receive the drugs before it is too late. To say that sorrow and a fear and loss aren't foremost in my mind would be a complete missing of the point. Yet my sentiments are nothing compared to the emotions of fear and surging, unsure hope that I imagine M & M must feel. Please think about them, and others who are facing the most difficult of times.

Uncle Norris has survived about three-four weeks after a quintuple bypass heart surgery. I thought it might go well, but I underestimated the seriousness of this surgery. I have not seen nor talked to him, but to hear it from those who have, he's in for a difficult ride. He has been paralyzed on his left side since the surgery, and associated difficulties with perception and speech have made it worse. Fortunately, Patty, Norris' wife is there with him, and I am sure that he finds comfort in that. I need to reach out more. One of Norris' strengths is his sense of humor, and I think that if I can tie into that somehow, I can be of help. Maggie tried to call immediately after the surgery, but it wasn't a good time, and we (the marital we) haven't tried to call since.

My fitness, relative to these other issues that involve life and death, is needless to say, unimportant. So forget I even mentioned it.

Money is a concern as the marital we prepare for medical school. I applied for financial aid, but even in receiving the maximum Federal amount, we will have to live on about half of what we have been living on of late. For the last few months, we have been hitting broke early on, before mid-month. So what will happen if we have half of our double-salary income, but the same costs? Clearly we've got to find more money. As my friend Tom Oomens says, as you get older, not having money gets more inconvenient. Damn, has he got that right.

At the end of my work day I got a call from Ed Khan, who just returned from Zambia. He is an Infectious Diseases doc who also has pulmonary and TB expertise. He was kind enough to bring back to us a couple of handwritten letters from Estelle, as well as Maggie's Zambian driver's license. The letters are the gems of Ed's voyage. Estelle's letter to me reads,

"Dearest Daddy,

Firstly and formost [sic] I would like to pass my greeting to all of you in the name of Jesus, how are you, how is home and everyone. I hope everyone is okey. Daddy I've missed you very much. any way, I just want to let you that I've missed all of you there. I don't have much to say only to mention that I've missed you very much and you should pinch Bamaggie for me.

Yours, Esther"

With great pleasure, I did pinch Maggie, reaching under the Irish wool blanket, amid squeals of protest. Maggie's mom started the laughter.