It is with mixed emotions that I greet you from the Terra Firma of
the good ol' U. S. of A. (Actually, I'm still in Johannesburg, but I
don't anticipate being able to send this out until I'm really on the
terra firma.)
Over the last 18 months I have visited 28 cities in 13
countries on three continents, all on behalf of the allied front against
AIDS. Sounds like a political party doesn't it? Well I suppose that in
the medical arena, it is.
In fact my mixed emotions wouldn't be nearly so mixed were it not for
the politics involved in this ongoing war against AIDS. I could go into
great detail on the innermost workings of a microscosmic example of how
politics have a deleterious effect on the scientific efforts against
AIDS, but I think I'd lose you within two sentences. Why should I tell
you the names of people you will never meet? Suffice it to say that the
synonymous twin sisters of power and greed are alive and well and
working very hard to sabotage the efforts of hard-working (and
fortunately resilient) people in the cradle of the HIV epidemic.
The short story is this: I took on a fellowship in Lusaka, the
capital of Zambia, working at an HIV/AIDS research project with a
distinguished history. It has been a privilege to be a part of it, and
that proved inspirational to me. We were gearing up for research that
would lead to significant contributions to the body of knowledge that is
set to topple the specter of AIDS. For the first 10 months or so, we
worked hard to churn out the key data, the crucial medical care, and all
the while fighting to maintain tight budgets. The last 8 months,
however, were spent putting out fires, quelching intra-organizational
politics, and when that failed, defusing extra-organizational bombs
until, with more regret than I can describe, a few of those bombs went
off, and we realized that all we held were tattered shreds of wasted
efforts and that our best course of action was to drop those shreds and
to find a new bag of tricks.
It was a lost battle in this ongoing war. The Project...
It wasn't
an entire loss though, by any means. We collected valuable data for four
years, and that in itself will help. Perhaps more meaningfully,
countable lives were prolonged with quality time that they otherwise
would not have had. Isn't that the essence of it all, after all?
I've
seen the best and the worst of what mankind has to offer to humanity in
the last 18 months. I've been a part of a Zambian family that, through
thick and thin, has stuck together. I've seen Americans playing the part
of the "Ugly American," with Oscar-worthy performances. I've seen people
live their day-to-day lives in the same neighborhood as a genocidal
killer who has wiped out all of their blood relatives. I've seen both
Christian and Muslim attitudes override the effects of unemployment,
malnutrition, and poverty. I've seen overt and institutional racism, and
been accused of practicing the same. And I've seen the cold, calculating
heart of science continue to beat when all resuscitative efforts seemed
futile.
* * *
* * *
* *
Let's chat about bombs.
My visit to Cairo was book-ended by tourist attacks that killed over
a hundred people. I missed the embassy bombing in Nairobi by less than a
day. I left Lusaka a day and a half before 14 bombs detonated or were
found earlier this month. [Note from 2005: I don't know what 14 bombs I
was talking about here, other than possibly some gossip. Because it was
gossip, I won't repeat it.] Now I'm not a victim nor do I harbour any
delusions of having lived through any kind of wartime hardships. Not by
a long shot. Hours
away was close enough for me to make me hope that I am never any closer
than I was to any bombs at all. That's all I have to write about that.
* * *
* * *
* *
Given all of that, I am sure of this:
despite the fact that politicians and their pawns have exiled our AIDS
research from Lusaka, strong minds with resilient hearts will continue
to unravel the mystery of AIDS, much like forebearers of medical science
found a vaccine for polio and a cure for smallpox.
I wish to be a part of that process, and I will continue to educate
myself until I feel that I am a better qualified participant. My
fellowship, through a mixed bag of victories and ultimate defeat has
served as a fantastic educational experience. I have become more savvy,
and more worldly (and frankly I've grown bigger balls) all the while
working very hard to make things right in a medical situation where so
much is wrong.
I'm grateful for what I've been able to learn, and I'm grateful for
being able to share it with you.
Sincerely yours,
Rob
