SCENE 1:  We open with an extreme close-up of Horst Mazarati, editor
 of Fashionocalypse Now! magazine, and european consultant on fashion for
 Mindless Crap Tonight, a leading entertainment television show.  As we
 pan out we discover that Horst is actually on the screen of another
 television, and that Woody and Chester are watching.  Behind Horst can
 be seen a backdrop that says:  Mindless Crap Tonight, Fashion Spotlight
 (this could be bluescreened).

Horst:          The concept of Couture arose from the desire of woman to
 be identified as unique.  Woman says:  "I am my own country.  Issue me
 a Visa, and give me diplomatic immunity!"  She does not want to be
 dressed like every washer woman in Wisconsin.  Now, glamour and couture
 are becoming more accessable to more women.  It is no longer only for
 the staggeringly wealthy.

Chester:        Wisconsin!  Why is he running down Wisconsin!  This is
 the hipness capitol of the world!

Woody:  You don't get out much do you, Chester.

Chester:        What do you mean!  I've been to Cadott.  I've been to
 Oakwood.  Don't tell me I'm not hip to the current scene.  I'm calling
 up that Horst guy, and I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!

Woody:  Yeah, you do that.  Say, have you seen the nachos I had around
here?

Chester:        (talking into phone)  Hello?  Yeah, this is Chester!
 Is this Mindless Crap Tonight?  I want to talk to that Horst guy!
 You see, I'm from Wisconsin and-   what do you mean I must be very
 proud?  Listen, I'm steaming mad about these anti-Wisconsin slurs!

Woody (to camera):      While he's venting his spleen, let's begin our
 movie for this evening:  a film that can only be described as
 sumptuous, Actually, it could also be described as classic, sub-titled,
 and black and white.  I am of course speaking of french director Jean
 Cocteau's elegant adaptation of Beauty and the Beast.  Enjoy.

Cut to first half of Beauty and the Beast


SCENE 2:        Again we open with a close-up of Horst, who is actually
 on a television in Chester's Castle.  Chester and Woody are watching.

Horst:          A viewer from Wisconsin writes:  "Dear Weirdo,  How come
 you keep harping on Wisconsin as having bad fashion?  Haven't you ever
 seen Laverne and Shirley?  Come on out here to Eau Claire and I'll show
 you fashion!"  Well, Mr. Chester from Wisconsin, today is your lucky day,
 because I, Horst Mazarati, European Consultant on Fashion for Mindless
 Crap Tonight, have decided to bless your home town of Eau Claire,
 Wisconsin with my scintillating presence.  I'll be seeing you tomorrow,
 so have your haute couture ready!

Woody:  Now you've gone and done it, Chester!  That eurotrash fashion boy
 is coming here, and we've got to show him some high fashion in Eau Claire,
 or else he's going to be making a fool out of us and our fair state every
 night on national television.

Chester:        Well that won't be hard.  We'll just make a run out to the
 Old Country Buffet!

Woody:  You moron.  Don't you know what high fashion is?  Its skinny
 people with tatoos and pierced nostrils, and other things, running around
 in stuff you wouldn't catch a circus clown dead in!  Does the term Haute
 Couture mean anything to you Chester?

Chester:        Isn't that a dish they make out of sheep's innards?

Woody:  Putting on a tie, and slicking your hair back is not going to cut
 it when Mr. Fashionocalypse Now! arrives.  We need some help from somebody
 hip, and Timmy the tapeworm isn't around to help us anymore.

enter Dr. X

Dr. X:          Guten haben mine kinder!  I've brought you a new friend!

(Dr. X is wheeling in a large machine, that looks like a computer with a
 glass human head attached)

Dr. X:          Say hello to Sargon, our new computer.  He has all the
 knowledge I can give him, and is cybernetically augmented for maximum
 coolness.

C and W:  Hello, Sargon.

Sargon: Word.

Chester:        Listen, Sargon, we've got a problem that maybe you could
 help us with.

Sargon: Fire away.

Chester:        O.K., now, see, there's this wierd guy named Horst on the
 TV, who talks about fashion.

Sargon: Horst Mazarati.  Mindless Crap Tonight.  Fashionocalypse Now!
magazine.  Go on.

Chester:        Well you see he was saying these bad things about
 Wisconsin, that it wasn't hip, and that we don't have cutting edge
 fashion and everything.

Sargon: And...

Chester:        So I called him up and gave him a piece of my mind.
  And now, he's...uh...well...

Woody:  Now he's coming here with a film crew, and we had better cough
 up a few supermodels and some haute couture.

Sargon: Anything else?

Woody:  Isn't that enough?

Sargon: I have developed a plan.  Dr. X has equipped me with a
 holographic pan-spatial omni-surround projection system.  We will
 fool Mr. Mazarati. Allow me to brief you.  Perhaps our guests would
 like to return to the movie...

Cut to second half of Beauty and the Beast


SCENE 3:        This final scene is a special effects "tour de force".
  It is done almost entirely with Bluescreen.  It begins with the
  regular Chester's Castle set behind our characters, but this also
  is a bluescreen image.  As we open, Chester, Woody, and Sargon are
  standing in the castle.
Chester and Woody are both wearing silly high fashion outfits.
  Chester is looking intently at something offscreen.

Chester:        Here they come.  Hit it Sargon!

Suddenly the background abruptly shifts to a fashion runway scene
 that we have "borrowed" from Pret-a-Porter or E! fashion television.
 Horst and a cameraman enter the room.

Horst:          Well, well.  On my way here I thought the environs
 were rather dismal, but I must say this is something of an improvement.

Chester:        Hello Mr. Horst!  I'm Chester, and these are my
 friends Woody and Sargon.

Horst:          The pleasure is all yours.  So where is this
 Wisconsin high fashion?

Chester:        Well come right this way and I'll introduce you to
 some of our designers.  (Chester leads Horst and cameraman off screen)

We now cut to a clip from a video interview with some real fashion
 designer like LouisVuitton or Jean Paul Gautier, but we dub Woody's
 voice over the image with some totally stupid dialog.

Woody/Gautier:  My spring vision for Wisconsin can be described in but
 two words:  Glamour and Glamour.  The time of understated elegance is
 behind us.  Give me fantasy or give me death!

Horst:          Oh, I could not agree more!

Now a different video interview clip, say, Isaac Misrahi, but with
 Chester's voice.

Chester/Misrahi:        The message in my collection for '96 is color.
  All of my ensembles practically scream color.  The world does not
  exist in shades of gray.  Why should we?

Horst:          Bravissimo!

Now we interview a female supermodel, like Linda Evangelista, with the
 voice of Bando.

Bando/Evangelista:      The Wisconsin collection is one of my favorites,
 because it doesn't trap you into the expectations of the larger shows,
 like Pret-a-Porter or Haute Couture do.  Everything is a bit more
 informal, more carefree in the Wisconsin show.

Horst:          Well, Mr. Chester.  I must admit that your little town
 in Wisconsin has a lot more to offer the fashion world than I would
 ever have guessed!  I, Horst Mazarati, grant you my sincerest apologies
 for representing your state in a bad light.

Chester:        Oh, that's O.K.  You just didn't know.

Horst:          I'll see you...in the spotlight!

We now cut to a black screen with the words:  Later That Same Day...
The scene then returns to C, W, and S watching television.

Horst on TV:    Horst feels he would like to apologize to Mr. Chester
 in Wisconsin for his comments about that fair state.  Indeed, I was
 greatly impressed by the Wisconsin fashion world on my visit.
 In fact, I think I will plan to provide coverage of the
 Eau Claire Spring Collection every year!  See you next spring
 Mr. Chester!

Woody:  Oh-oh.  Now we've really gone and done it.

Roll credits.  Backdrop is a series of clips alternating fashion
 runways with footage of people strolling down the halls of London
 Square Mall.
Music is either Supermodel by Julianna Hatfield or Supermodel
 Sandwich by Terence Trent D'Arby.