AFFLICTION

pulsating liquid metal in my veins
runs hot and cold
based on a look and a word from you
exhausted from hanging on the skewed boundary of the
ornate elevated chrysler building constructed in my head
to represent you
building crumbling down around the mortar of suspicion
fed by my telepathic knowledge of your untold indiscretions
despising myself on the cool marble floor
hands and legs spread out in a shallow parody of a snow angel
trying to embrace the planet and feel the earth revolve
reminiscing about our history of ambiguity
heartache shimmering into an expanded halo around my body
bitterness a cold metal spike
planting itself firmly into the center of my spine
relentlessly trying to pin me to the floor of my despondency
as I rise up in a poor imitation of Dali's floating crucifixion
twisting around inside a cloud of nails
falling back down onto the soft pillow of infinite sadness
a recurring dream washes over me
of being alone chained to a rusty bed at 80 years old
in a small whitewashed room with a tiny window
framing an unreachable nirvana of blue sky green leaves tossed in the wind
reviewing a lifetime of experiences I never had
crushed by the mountainous terrain of this affliction