SAMURAI AT THE CHECKOUT

Mindful of the Way of the Samurai, I wait patiently in the long grocery store checkout line with immense calm.  The words of Tokugawa, "Forebearance is the root of quietness and assurance forever," ring true in my clarified mind.  Suddenly, an ancient grizzled woman lurches up behind me and runs over my foot with her shopping cart.  My first reaction is to reach for my belt, unsheath my hidden katana blade, and like a glance of sunlight on a pane of leaded glass, strike the old crone quickly and without remorse, forever severing the offending iron cart from her gnarled hand.  But I moved not a muscle. I breathed deeply, remembered that "Emptiness is Form", and resumed my stance.  Suddenly, I see:  Checkout #7 Light On!  I will switch lines.  Mindful of the Bushido code of respect, I permit my elders to take their place in front of me in this new and shorter line.  As I again resume my warrior stance in the new line, I notice that the line I just left has now moved quickly ahead.  What?  What is this?  I do not understand.  But I cannot question reality.  As Master Nagauji once stated, "Consider that which exists to exist and that which does not exist to not exist, and recognize things just as they are."  I sigh.  Yes, of course, do not question the course of events.  I look toward the front of my line. A young fledgling manning the register has apparently not been trained in the fine art of credit card swipe technology.  A saying from the Hagakure comes to mind, which is, "At times of great trouble or disaster, one word will suffice."  Thus with firm, even tone and resolve, I whisper, "Batshit." As a noble customer attempts to assist the young fledgling, I notice yet another line emptying itself of other customers.  Keeping in mind the principle of Yu, or Heroic Courage, I remember, "Rise up above the masses of people who are afraid to act."  I lept quickly into action. Adopting the coiling motion of "Snake eating Crane," I slipped into Checkout Line # 8.  Ahhhh, I thought, success!  But then I notice a sign: "This line closed."  Light off.  This is too much.  I reach into my cloak for my dagger, as I finally intend to commit seppuku, or as the Westerners call it, "Hari-Kari."  However, at the very moment I position the dagger to my abdomen, I remember a saying from Hagakure, "It is a good viewpoint to see the world as a dream.  When you have something like a nightmare, you will wake up and tell yourself that it was only a dream.  It is said that the world we live in is not a bit different from this."  Yes!  That is it!  This is simply a nightmare.  I return the dagger to its resting place and quickly exit the door with the all-seeing electric eye.  As I step along the asphalt plain, careful not to disturb the wrinkled tread marks from the iron chariots, I look back over my shoulder and realize that I have learned a hard lesson.  As the great Lord Naoshige said, "Intelligence is the flower of discrimination.  There are many examples of the flower blooming but not bearing fruit."

Ah.