Transcript of Paul McCrane's Appearance on The Wayne Brady Show

Thanks to Trekgirl at The Rocket Sanctuary for providing this transcript!

WB: Welcome back to the show… Our next guest sang "The Body Electric" in the movie "Fame." How many people loved "Fame"? Come on!

Audience cheers.

WB: If you want Fame this is where you beg. But now he tortures the staff every Thursday night on "ER" as Doctor Robert Romano. Let's take a look.

Cuts away to the lounge scene in "A Hopeless Wound."

RR: I know most people don't like me, I care, I don't like most people. But I'm good at what I do. I save peoples lives, every day, people who no one else can help. If I can't do that...

WB: Please welcome Paul McCrane!

PMC comes out, wearing a slate gray button up shirt and black trousers.

WB: Hey man, how are you?

PMC: It's a pleasure to meet you! Pleasure to meet you!

WB: Thank you, thank you.

He waves at the crowd, and then they go sit down.

WB: You know, all these people gave you such love.

PMC: I know.

WB: But you play such a - boy… I could just throw something at you!

PMC: Really?

WB: Yes.

PMC: You think? You don't think he's sort of the most likeable character on the show? Don't you think he's sort of the most sympathetic character on the show?

Audience cheers.

PMC: Really? You do? That concerns me.

WB: A friend said "Wayne, I'll give you a dollar if you are really mean to him." I said, "It's a character! It's a character, not him."

PMC: You know, its, most people who come up to me sort of, tell me how much they hate me, but um, they usually do it with a smile on their face so I get the sense that its not like those guys who, years ago, guys on soap operas and stuff. I don't know if you have any friends who did that. I had some friends who did soap operas, they'd play the bad guys on the soap and then they'd be going into little convenience stores in upstate New York and little old ladies hit them on the head with their bags.

WB: Oh yeah, soap opera fans don't play. "You shouldn't have drowned that poor boy!!"

PMC: Exactly, exactly, they don't fool around. Is this Regis's cup? (Referring to a coffee cup left on the table.)

WB: No no, no, this is you. This is you.

PMC: Oh, thank you. You know, I heard a funny story about Regis. I heard he had a disincentive on the show to give out the million dollars because anything that he didn't give away he took home that night. I think… Is that right?

WB: I-I-I don't think that's true. We could get Regis—

PMC: That's just a joke, just a joke.

WB: We want to see you and Regis wrestle. "All right, I've got him in a headlock."

PMC: He would win hands down, I'm sure. I can't wrestle. I've got a broken toe right now… I can't wrestle.

Audience awwws.

PMC: Yeah, I know, thanks for the sympathy.

WB: See, but they're going "Good for you. Good for you, hope you broke your toe." Speaking of toes and arms, its good to see you, you got your arm cut off.

PMC: Yes, I did. Still here, grew it back.

WB: That's quite an awkward thing to have happen to a surgeon.

PMC: Uh, yes, I would say it would put a crimp in your career. A surgeon with your arm taken off.

WB: So when they approached you about that, that seems to me, and please correct me, but that's one of those things, and I know ER's still doing really well in the ratings, but it's a stunt, almost. "Hey, look, um Paul, we want you to lose your arm this episode. But don't worry! You'll get it back in three episodes."

PMC: Yeah, it was a little shocking when they first told me about it, but, uh, to be honest with you, the director of that episode, Johnny Kaplan, is a really terrific director, and he handled it, I thought, really, really well. And um, I don't know if you guys saw it, but I thought it was graphic, it was shocking, but um...

WB: Well in case you didn't see it...

PMC: That's what you call fishing for applause...

WB: Fishing for the applause. You were on the roof and you bent over to pick up some files.

PMC: Yes.

WB: And as you bent over the blade of the helicopter--

PMC: Well I sort of stood back up and my forward momentum took me into the blade, the rotor blade, and my arm went flying off.

WB: Wow, that's some good TV.

PMC: Quality television!

WB: But the tasteful thing is that it went right to commercial after.

PMC: Right to commercial and I think that most people kind of went, "Did I just see that? What happened?"

WB: And the clip that we just saw, you really having a vulnerable moment. That is there a chance that your character, actually having a soul?

PMC: Well, I wouldn't go that far. Um, but...

WB: (singing) You're a mean one, Mr. Doctor. Mr. Romano.

PMC: Exactly, exactly. No, I don't think... that was one of the very, very rare moments of sort of humanity in this character, yeah. We keep them rare, cause you know the character's sole function on the show is to cause trouble.

WB: Stir things up.

PMC: Yeah, stir things up. You don't want people to get too affectionate for him because it takes the edge off.

WB: What I loved was after I started watching you on "ER", I had been a fan of yours for a long time.

PMC: Oh, thank you, likewise.

WB: "Fame" is one of my favorite movies in the world. It's the reason we had Debbie Allen on.

PMC: Oh yeah?

WB: And I told her that that's pretty much one of the reasons why I started performing and got interested in it. And we actually have a picture of you. Check this out everybody.

PMC: Oh yeah.

WB: Brother was sporting an Afro back in the day!

Audience applauds.

PMC: I think that applause for the time I had hair I guess.

WB: So you were really a singer, when you did the movie and you recorded a song.

PMC: I did, yeah... I wouldn't call it, you're a singer, I would call myself a hack of a singer.

WB: No, no...

PMC: You're a singer, you've got chops.

Audience cheers.

PMC: Fishing for you now. Um, but, no no, I was a songwriter, singer sometimes, songwriter. And uh, I wrote a song, actually for my girlfriend when I was 16, and uh, when I went to audition for the film, Alan Parker, the director, had a little video camera, he taped the audition and I used that song. And I used that song, and when they sent me the script, the lyrics were in there. So first I called my lawyer… no, I didn't have a lawyer at the time, but no, I was thrilled.

WB: Be honest, you called Mom.

PMC: Are you kidding? I was still living at home! I was, "Hey Mom!!!"

WB: And that song actually kept you afloat for a time, you see, I know these things because I watched VH1 Behind the Movies.

PMC: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

WB: That whole thing.

PMC: Yeah, for about 15 years, I lived in New York, which I love that city. And did a lot of theatre. And theatre doesn't pay very well most of the time.

WB: No.

PMC: As you know, and that song enabled me to support my theatre habit, the royalties from it. And I had a tiny little percentage, I wonder what somebody like, you know, Michael Jackson gets... I don't even want to think about it. That's too much money to think about.

WB: Well let me add it up, its one million, two million, three million...

PMC: Yeah, kind of keeps going like that.

WB: Yeah, it's about 6 million dollars. Ladies and gentlemen, let's hear it for Paul McCrane! Watch him on ER! Man, I have to thank you so much for coming on. Such a big fan.

PMC: Pleasure… likewise!