Get one of my own hand scribbled SECRET fishing maps to some of the best little hidey holes I know of. 

                                            * Don't blame me if you don't catch no fish - maybe you don't know how.  Better buy my Wise Redneck Fishing Manual, too.

Quart jar of my own stinky fish attracting juice™.   Cooked up by me using my own formula of nauseous stuff.

                                            * Warning: Don't spill this stuff on nothin or its gonna stink from now own.

Learn how to fish like I do with my Wise Redneck Fishing Manual.  Containing many jewels of fishing wisdom, like ---

How to night fish golf course water hazards

 Proven techniques for avoiding the game warden when you done caught something good

  Worm & Cricket farming tips

     Fish gutting & cooking tips (stop wasting all them fish heads)

     Lost lure recovery apparatus of my own invention

      Which plastik worms is best and how to make the fish think they's real

        Making your own Lures cheap (leave a little reservoir for some stinky fish attracting juice) 

                Logging for Catfishs (fishing without the hook)

Just what every fisherman needs most --- a X-Large jar of patience.  The taste may remind you of corn  liquor but it ani't that 'cause you can't sell that on the internet - but it will definitely improve your patience.