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38
Years Later...But Not Too Late!
It
is interesting how people come into one’s thoughts after years of
no contact. I wondered about a classmate from the 6th grade and figured
that I would probably never have contact with her again; but awe—the
wonders of the Internet!
Ron and I were listening to an oldies station in the car and they
kept playing Beatles music. That’s when I began to wonder about my
friend. In the 6th grade we were infatuated with the Beatles. We had
Beatles parties and played their music over and over. It was my first
year at a new school where I felt welcomed and accepted by a group
of good girlfriends. Mrs. East was one of my favorite teachers. I
loved that school year and I remembered one friend in particular.
She always seemed to be a bit wiser than the rest of us as she seemed
to have a voice of authority and leadership among us. If she thought
something was a good idea, we just knew it was a good idea. I remember
her pledging her undying love for the Beatles: “Even if the fad should
pass, I will never stop loving them.”
As God would have it, I stumbled on the opportunity to contact my
school chum through the Internet. I clicked on one of those ads that
offer to help you find old high school classmates. Before I knew it
we were in contact by email. She wrote me letting me know about her
life in a nutshell. (She still likes the Beatles.) And I responded
about my life in a nutshell. I added the following. I almost deleted
it because it felt uncomfortable, but I left it in my newsy email
and sent it.
“I remember that your sister died that year. We were all sad for you.
We experienced grief, as 11-year-olds know it. Now, as a mom and grandma
I can appreciate the depth of pain your family must have endured.
Your loss may have been part of what gave you such credibility in
my eyes. You walked where most 11-year-olds don’t have to walk. You
were touched by heartache I had not known. Forgive me for dredging
up painful memories. I don’t know why I’ve wondered about you more
than the many others I’ve known over the years. But I do want to express
my appreciation for you as a friend in 6th grade.”
Soon I received a reply from my long lost friend. She wrote:
“Cyndie, it was really great to hear from you. Far from dredging up
painful memories, it was very validating to hear one of my friends
and peers express feelings about my sister's death. After all, I look
back on that time as one of the major milestones in my life. I think
from that day forward, I always felt a little different and like I
never really fit in. My childhood truly ended that day. Thank you
for not being afraid to mention it. Most people feel really uncomfortable
when I mention it, so I usually don't even tell people about it.”
Her response taught me that it is never too late to offer sincere
sympathy in remembering another's loss. The experience showed me I
need to persevere in stepping past my uncomfortable feelings in acknowledging
the pains or joys of others. I can't tell you how close I came to
deleting that paragraph about her sister. I am so glad that I didn't
because God used it to encourage my friend. He also used her response
to teach me an important lesson about being willing to step out of
my comfort zone to be an encourager.
by Cyndie Hamley
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