Tearing it Up
ACES HIGH ... The schedule has been unkind to the Rangers so far, as they’ve managed to draw the undisputed ace of the opponent’s staff seven times in their first 24 games. Those aces have certainly been "tearing it up" as the Rangers have limped to an 0-7 mark while falling to Pedro Martinez, Mike Mussina, Chuck Finley, David Wells, Brad Radke, and Orlando Hernandez (twice). Pudge and the boys hope to get well against ace-free Tampa Bay this week as they see Ryan Rupe, Doc Gooden, Esteban Yan and the Devil Rays in Florida. Then it's home to face ace-in-development Tim Hudson of Oakland.

Slumping
THEY DO NOT CHOOSE TO RUN ... Sure, it's a baseball-wide epidemic as stolen bases are down more than 20% in both leagues. And Johnny Oates, unlike Boston's Jimy Williams, hasn’t completely abandoned the concept of a running game for the 21st century. But the Rangers have stolen just 11 bases through 24 games, and only Ruben Mateo has more than two. Ranger farmhand Scarborough Green has 12 swipes at Oklahoma by himself, though he is no threat to be called up, or to contribute much if he does get the call. Ironically, a successful SB is how Rafael Palmeiro injured his hammy on Friday night.

At the Plate
THE KIDS ARE(N'T) ALL RIGHT ... The key to Ranger success, everyone knew, would be rookie performance. They’re performing, like, well ... rookies. Gabe Kapler is stuck below the Mendoza line (.193) and Ruben Mateo has just seven RBI. Mike Lamb ended his first week as a major leaguer at .150 (three for 20) with several critical errors. In fact, the only Rangers escaping April with a batting average better than .300 were Pudge Rodriguez (.333/9/25) and David Segui (.391; top five in AL batting, hits, and doubles). How is Segui still available in 62% of all ESPN leagues? Grab him if you can!

From the Rubber
HE LOOKS MARVELOUS ... Francisco Cordero hasn't allowed an earned run in eight consecutive outings; with an ERA of 2.38, he is the Rangers’ only middle/setup man entering May with a mark under 6.43. Jeff Zimmerman balked home the winning run in the ninth inning on Friday for the bullpen’s sixth loss of the season; it was the sixth time the bullpen allowed a Ranger oppenent to win in its final at-bat. It's no wonder that Rangers’ starters are currently second in the league with 154 innings. If you need innings and can grab Esteban Loiaza, Rick Helling, or Kenny Rogers (in that order), do it.

On the Mend
BEATEN ODDS AND SPLIT ENDS ... Palmeiro is listed as day-to-day, but so was Rusty Greer when he was diagnosed with a "tight hamstring" ... reliever Mike Munoz went on the 15-day DL, but if you're worried about Munoz in your fantasy league, you need to find a new game ... Rogers jammed his left elbow when he lunged for a ball on Monday against Boston, but did not miss a beat in Sunday's start ... Justin Thompson got rocked in his last rehab start Tuesday for AAA Oklahoma; the good news -- he threw 102 pain-free pitches and after a Monday start for AA Tulsa hopes to join the Ranger rotation.