Tearing it Up
CAT WON'T DYE ... What does this have to do with Frank Catalanotto, the presumed headline reference? Well, let's start with the premise that I desperately needed to upgrade my starting pitching to move on a league crown. (Again, what does this have to do with Little Cat? Have the give-up-13-runs-in-the-ninth-inning Rangers banished the versatile Cat to the bullpen? No, of course not. Bear with me.) So I made a flurry of moves which sent Aaron Sele, Ray Durham, Johnny Damon and Jermaine Dye away for a net gain of Roger Clemens, Rick Helling, Randy Velarde and assorted spare parts.

Slumping
CATHOUSE VIEW ... Now, if you're like most of the owners in the Bowling Green Neo-Historic Base-Ball League, you've concluded, "What the hell was Doherty thinking?" Let's step through it. First, my team is fine in the OF, so won't feel the loss of Damon and Dye -- and we also have the good word of Oakland A's correspondent John Gizzi that Damon's swing still looks terrible. Second, if you've been paying attention recently, you know that Sele's been sliding a bit while Helling, despite the rough outing in Boston this week, has been excellent. So that's a wash, and in a league that counts strikeouts heavily, I actually come out ahead.

At the Plate
FELINE FINE ... So here's the key -- Catalanotto (Aha! Getting back to the subject of the headline!) was for some inexplicable reason on the league waiver wire. Heading into Thursday's finale with his former Tiger teammates, Cat was hitting .333 since July 1 and .310/8/35 with 55 runs and six SB in just 282 AB overall. Durham, hitting just .257, needed 417 AB for his 13 homers, 40 RBI, 68 runs and 18 SB. With Cat now playing every day, it's a short list of AL 2B who are better: Alomar, Boone, probably Soriano. Ray Durham? Uh, no. In fact, there's a good argument that Cat is in the top eight fantasy 2B in MLB universe leagues.

From the Rubber
NINE LIVES ... So the moves boil down to a couple of spare OF and Durham for Clemens in a league where, thanks to his strikeouts and the Pedro injury, Rocket is far and away the most valuable SP available. Helling is an upgrade over his good friend Sele -- maybe not in real life, but in most fantasy systems, that's been true since late June -- and Catalanotto is a significant upgrade over Durham. Clemens now heads an AL-only staff that includes Tim Hudson, Mike Mussina, Jamie Moyer (Sele's much more valuable Seattle teammate), Helling and young Tom Glavine clone Mark Buehrle. Even if Damon does hit, that's a nice place to be.

On the Mend
FEELING RANDY AND CATTY ... And Velarde, back from a DL stint, joins his Ranger teammate Cat on my fantasy squad, in a league where multiple middle infielders are in the active lineup. Velarde is also playing every day as he and Cat bounce around IF, OF and DH roles; both are eligible at five positions (1B, 2B, 3B, OF, DH). With Velarde hitting .303/6/22 with three SB and 35 runs in just 244 AB, he's nearly as valuable as Cat; even if you're set in the middle infield, either of these two is practically a one-man bench. You don't want either in a corner IF, OF or DH role long-term, but up the middle? Fantasy gems.