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§What a glorious time of year. We've paid our taxes and now our sleek swift streamlined government can continue to work in its efficient honorable fashion. Think about it, all the people we'd put out of work with out our taxes. The loss of revenue to
distilleries, and escorts services alone would be disastrous. Think of what our elected officials would have to do. I mean lets suppose you're a government official and involved in organized crime,... but then I repeat myself.
§Let me emphasize that while I do make a few silly and light hearted jokes about them, I think I should say right now how much I do respect and appreciate the job that the IRS and the government in general is doing, and I say this from the bottom of my heart. I want these people to realize I mean this and it has nothing at all to do with those registered letters they sent me. I'm sure that any misunderstandings we have can be cleared up before the court date.
§As usual, I want to thank all those that contributed material for the thoughts page. This has become a lot of fun for me, and I hope those of you who read it enjoy it as much as I do.
My friend Joan Cross sent me the following. Thanks Joan.
§"Great Lines from Job Evaluations"
1. I would not allow this employee to breed.
2. This associate is not so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won't be.
3. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
4. When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change whatever foot was
previously there.
5. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
6. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
7. He set low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
8. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
9. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
10. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
11. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard was not looking.
12. A room temperature IQ.
13. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it together.
14 A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
15. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
16. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
17. Bright as Alaska in December.
18. One-celled organisms outscore him in IQ tests.
19. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
20. Fell out of the family tree.
21. Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
22. Has two brains: one is lost; the other one is out looking for it.
23. He's so dense, light bends around him.
24. If brains were taxed, she would get a refund.
25. Of he were anymore stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
26. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you will get change.
27. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
28. It is hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
29. One neuron short of a synapse.
30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
31. Takes him an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.
32. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
33. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
34. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
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Thoughts and Jokes
