Top Ten Ways To Waste Time

Top ten ways to spend a Saturday afternoon in college. This might not get you good grades, but you will wonder what you really accomplished.

10. Facebook - The boon of all college students. Get caught doing this and it should evoke a chorus of "Facebook Livin'" songs from your friends.

9. Collegehumor - Again, similar to Facebook except it does not have the requisite humiliation associated with it.

8. Digg - Easy time waster. Click on the links to watch movies, look at pictures, and read news articles that you probably don't care about.

7. Lolcats - Very embarrassing to be caught looking at, but they're just so cute.

6. Lifehacker - Great time waster and a way to read about being more productive. You can be more productive at your job to let you have more time to read Lifehacker.

5. Study - We all know that when you say you studied for five hours that you really studied for maybe three hours and spaced out for about two hours.

4. True Life - Or any other show on MTV that is really bad but is really hard to turn away from. Another form is the show "The Hills". That show just makes you watch it all the way through, if only to thank god you don't really know those people.

3. Addicting Games - The most comprehensive list of free Internet games out there. You could literally spend all day playing these games and only play about four games.

2. Craigslist - There are so many cool things to find on this site that you could waste many hours just looking at postings. The free stuff section is the best place to look. This could also waste more time as you drive around picking stuff up.

1. Bash - This site has so many great IRC conversations that you could spend hundreds of hours reading them and re-reading them. Beware that once you start, you won't want to stop.

Ten Things Not To Do In A Presentation

These are ten things that I have noticed in my peers presentations at school. These should be minimized. If you can eliminate these, your presentation could still suck for lack of content, but at least you will have good presentation skills.

10. Involvement - Don't pander to your teacher by asking for user involvement when none is needed. Quizzing the audience very rarely gets you answers, just present more material, don't quiz me.

9. Introductions - Don't introduce presenters as they start to present their section of a slide show. If you need to introduce speakers, do it at the beginning and try to minimize flow interruption.

8. Posture - When you're presenting, you should be facing your audience. You need to be looking people in the eyes to let them know you are speaking to them. If you are not presenting, stand up straight, hands out of your pockets, and be looking around at the audience as well.

7. Questions - If you want to take all questions at the end, state that at the beginning. Otherwise, people will assume they can ask during the presentation. If that is true, you don't need to announce it.

6. Clipart - With sites such as Flickr, and other stock photo exchanges, there is no reason to use the Microsoft built in clipart that looks like a cartoon. Get real stock photos or use the stock photos in the clipart. You are an adult, you don't need the cartoon-like car.

5. Novels - Keep the amount of text on a slide to a minimum. If I wanted to read the idea, I would have you write a paper. You are speaking, present the main idea and then extend it by speaking. That way I can look at the slide and have my mind remember what you said based on the key words on the slide.

4. Reading - This relates to point 5 and point 8. If you are facing your audience you are less likely to read a slide. If you don't have a paragraph of text, you are less likely to read your slide. I can read, you don't need to repeat what your slide says.

3. Transitions - Related to point 6 above. This is a professional presentation, you don't need the lame slide in transition. Does that gong sound really help your presentation? Probably not.

2. Um - Know your material. This will minimize you saying things like "Um", "Ah", "Like", etc. This takes time as well. Train yourself not to fill in dead air with these words. Instead, learn to stop, think about what you want to say, then speak.

1. Control - Maintain this in your presentation. Do not let audience questions, comments, or technology failings make you lose control of the presentation. This is also difficult, you need good user comments and questions to have a good discussion, but you need to maintain overall control and authority in a presentation. This is a very fine balancing act.

Ten Drinks You Can Make At Home (College Style)

10. Anything my friend has - Moochers drink this, it happens to be whatever my friend has right now.

9. Jack Daniels - Or any whiskey really. Pour it over ice and drink. No ice? Warm is fine. No glass? Take pulls.

8. Jello Shots - There's nothing like eating Jello filled with alcohol, proclaiming there to be no alcohol in it, then passing out.

7. Alcohol in a water bottle - Usually carried by females to parties, but men will do it in a pinch.

6. Bombs - Jaegerbombs, Carbombs, anything where you get to drop a shot into another glass and then chug.

5. Alcohol and Redbull - Nothing like mixing an upper and a downer. It should even itself out right?

4. Vodka and Juice - Doesn't matter what kind of juice, just pour over vodka and you're set.

3. Alcohol and Coke - Pour in some alcohol, add Coke, drink, repeat.

2. Shots - Is there alcohol in it? Let's take shots. What? It's Listerene? Screw it, pour it in a glass.

1. Beer - Simple, easy, cheap. Everything a college student looks for in a night out.

Ten Things You Need To Know To Be In IS/IT

These are the ten things that an employee must know to be able to work in an information systems or information technology role. If you can not do all ten, you belong on the business side.

10. Know the difference between Microsoft Office and Microsoft Windows. One is used for word processing and spreadsheets, the other runs your computer. They are not interchangeable and only one can acceptably be referred to as "Windows".

9. Know the first three culprits for the screen being blank. They are monitor off, computer not plugged in, computer not on. Do not call support until these have been checked.

8. Know what Firefox and Thunderbird are. You don't have to use them, just be aware of what they do.

7. How to change the ink and add paper to the printer. Not necessarily every printer, just the one your computer prints to by default. Ability to learn from instructions located inside the cover/drawer are a plus.

6. Understand why computers must be kept in a cool environment (and not the hip kind). Oooh, melty.

5. Know how to set up a computer (plug in monitor, mouse, keyboard, sound, ethernet, and power). It's an adult version of the round peg, round hole game. And it's color coded.

4. Be able to use as media: floppy, cd-rom, and flash drive. At least know how one would use each one.

3. Be able to check the anti-virus you are running to see what it has found. No anti-virus? FAIL.

2. Do an everyday task online. Check a bank account, pay a bill, read some news. There are so many applications out there, you need be able to use at least one.

1. Know whose fault it always is. The correct answer is users. Always, no matter what.

Ten Things Not To Do If You Work In A Cube

The following is a list of ten things a person should not do if they work in a cubicle. Now that I think of it, most of these things work are true for almost everyone.

10. Knock - When you enter a cube, it is like entering someone's house. Would you walk into my house without knocking? Not if you didn't want to get hit with a baseball bat.

9. Cube Toys - These are not yours. These are mine. Buy your own.

8. Headphones - Where them. I do not want to hear your music. You cannot listen to the radio while collating. It might cause me to set the building on fire.

7. Phone Calls - If you get a call, leave the room. I do not want to hear about what you did last weekend with your significant other.

6. Shower - Enough said.

5. Email - If I'm in th cube next door, do not email me a quick question. Get off your lazy butt and ask.

4. Yelling - No yelling over the partitions. Didn't Mom teach you this?

3. Smells - Avoid things with strong smells like certain foods, perfumes, colognes, and lotions.

2. Laughter - This is good in the workplace. However, it is creepy when you laugh hysterically in the middle of the day from the cubicle next door and I have no idea why. It makes me want to violate Rule 5.

1. Carbon Copy - Do not cc: the rest of the office on an email simply to "keep the team in the loop". This is why I am in the same room, let us know what you are up to. People tend to mass delete emails from you after a while and this is probably not what you want.