Ten Things You Need To Know To Be In IS/IT

These are the ten things that an employee must know to be able to work in an information systems or information technology role. If you can not do all ten, you belong on the business side.

10. Know the difference between Microsoft Office and Microsoft Windows. One is used for word processing and spreadsheets, the other runs your computer. They are not interchangeable and only one can acceptably be referred to as "Windows".

9. Know the first three culprits for the screen being blank. They are monitor off, computer not plugged in, computer not on. Do not call support until these have been checked.

8. Know what Firefox and Thunderbird are. You don't have to use them, just be aware of what they do.

7. How to change the ink and add paper to the printer. Not necessarily every printer, just the one your computer prints to by default. Ability to learn from instructions located inside the cover/drawer are a plus.

6. Understand why computers must be kept in a cool environment (and not the hip kind). Oooh, melty.

5. Know how to set up a computer (plug in monitor, mouse, keyboard, sound, ethernet, and power). It's an adult version of the round peg, round hole game. And it's color coded.

4. Be able to use as media: floppy, cd-rom, and flash drive. At least know how one would use each one.

3. Be able to check the anti-virus you are running to see what it has found. No anti-virus? FAIL.

2. Do an everyday task online. Check a bank account, pay a bill, read some news. There are so many applications out there, you need be able to use at least one.

1. Know whose fault it always is. The correct answer is users. Always, no matter what.

Ten Things Not To Do If You Work In A Cube

The following is a list of ten things a person should not do if they work in a cubicle. Now that I think of it, most of these things work are true for almost everyone.

10. Knock - When you enter a cube, it is like entering someone's house. Would you walk into my house without knocking? Not if you didn't want to get hit with a baseball bat.

9. Cube Toys - These are not yours. These are mine. Buy your own.

8. Headphones - Where them. I do not want to hear your music. You cannot listen to the radio while collating. It might cause me to set the building on fire.

7. Phone Calls - If you get a call, leave the room. I do not want to hear about what you did last weekend with your significant other.

6. Shower - Enough said.

5. Email - If I'm in th cube next door, do not email me a quick question. Get off your lazy butt and ask.

4. Yelling - No yelling over the partitions. Didn't Mom teach you this?

3. Smells - Avoid things with strong smells like certain foods, perfumes, colognes, and lotions.

2. Laughter - This is good in the workplace. However, it is creepy when you laugh hysterically in the middle of the day from the cubicle next door and I have no idea why. It makes me want to violate Rule 5.

1. Carbon Copy - Do not cc: the rest of the office on an email simply to "keep the team in the loop". This is why I am in the same room, let us know what you are up to. People tend to mass delete emails from you after a while and this is probably not what you want.