Dharma Bums
Jack Kerouac
an except from near the end of chapter 10
As the fire stopped roaring and just got to be red coals, but
big ones six feet long, the nght interposed its icy crystal feel
more and more but with the smell of smoking logs it was as delicious
as chocolate pudding. For a while I went on a little walk by myself,
out by the shallow iced creek, and sat meditating against a stump
of dirt and the huge mountain walls on both sides of our valley
were silent masses. "To old to do this more than a minute.
As I came back our orange fire casting its glow on the big rock
and Japhy kneeling and peering up at the sky, and all of it ten
thousand feet above the gnashing world, was a picture of peace
and good sense. There was another aspect of Japhy that amazed
me: his tremendous and tender sense of charity. He was always
giving things, always practicing what the Buddhist call the Paramita
of Dana, the perfection of charity.
Now when I came back and say down by the fire he said "Well
Smith it's about time you owned a set of juju beads you can have
these," and he handed me the brown wood beads run together
over a strong string with the string black and shiny, coming out
at the large bead at the end in a pretty loop.
"Aw you can't give me something like this, these things come
from Japan don't they?"
"I've got another set of black ones. Smith that prayer you
gave me tonight is worth that set of juju beads, but you can have
it anyway." A few minutes later he cleaned out the rest of
the chocolate pudding but made sure that I got most of it. Then
when he laid boughs over the rock of our clearing and the poncho
over that he made sure his sleeping bag was further away from
the fire than mine so I would be sure to be warm. He was always
practicing charity. In fact he taught me, and a week later I was
giving him nice new undershirts I'd discovered in the Goodwill
store. He'd turn right around and make me a gift of a plastic
container to keep food in. For a joke I'd give him a gift of a
huge flower from Alvah's yard. Solemnly a day later he'd bring
me a little bouquet of flowers picked in the street plots of Berkeley.
"And you can keep the sneakers too," he said. "I've
got another pair older than those but just as good."
"Aw I can't be taking all of your things."
"Smith you don't realize it's a privilege to practice giving
presents to others." The way he did it was charming; there
was nothing glittery and Christmasy about it, but almost sad,
and sometimes his gifts were old beat-up things but they had the
charm of usefulness and sadness of his giving.
We rolled into our sleeping bags , it was freezing cold now, about
eleven o'clock, and talked a while more before one of us just
didn't answer from the pillow and pretty soon we were asleep.
While he snored I woke up and just lay flat back with my eyes
to the stars and thanked God I'd come on this mountain climb.
My legs felt better, my whole body felt strong. The crack of the
dying logs was like Japhy making little comments on my happiness.
I looked at him, his head buried way under inside his duck-down
bag. His little huddled form was the only thing I could see in
the darkness that was so packed and concentrated with eager desire
to be good. I thought, "What a strange thing is man... like
in the Bible it says, Who knoweth the spirit of man that looketh
upward? This poor kid ten years younger than I am is making me
look like a fool for forgetting al the ideals and joys I knew
before, in my recent years of drinking and disappointment, what
does he care if he hasn't got any money: he doesn't need any money,
all he needs is his rucksack with those little plastic bags of
dried food and a good pair of shoes and off he goes and enjoys
the privileges of a millionaire in surroundings like this. And
what gouty millionaire could get up this rock anyhow? It took
us all day to climb." And I promised myself that I would
begin a new life. "All over the West, and the mountains in
the East, and the desert, I'll tramp with the rucksack and make
it the pure way ." I went to sleep after burying my nose
under the sleeping bag and woke up around dawn shivering out in
steams. I rolled over to the other ribs and slept more: my dreams
were pure cold dreams like ice water, happy dreams, no nightmares.