What I Learned In Clinical Psychology Grad School
by Storm A. King
October, 19961) Do not do long term psychotherapy on someone for psychosomatic headaches only to have them die on you from a brain tumor.
2) It is not OK to have sex with your clients, even when it is in their best interest.
3) Don't spend hours developing a great treatment plan for someone based on their MMPI results, and then find out they can't read.
4) Caffeine-Induced Disorders are in the DSM-1V, but do not qualify as an excuse for a failed exam.
5) There is a statistically significant difference (p<.05) between apples and oranges.
6) The cost of the books for any one class is directly related to the ego of that class's instructor, and inversely related to the amount of knowledge you learn in it.
7) If your first client has been in therapy longer than you've been in grad school, don't try anything tricky.
8) The difference between psychoanalytic therapists and cognitive/behavioral therapists is a matter of unconscious beliefs, if you are the former, and a matter of cognitive distortions, if you are the later.
9) Depending on your cultural background, a Ph. D. in clinical psychology stands for a) Piled High and Deep b) Pretty Heavy, Dude c) Psychic Healing Dispenser d) Psychologically Heavily Disabled
10) A dissertation is not what you do for a career, it just feels that way.
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Created and maintained by Storm A. King
last updated 05/01
