• Real Programmers don't write specs - users should consider themselves lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.
• Real Programmers don't comment their code.  If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.  Why do you think it's called "code" after all?
• Real Programmers don't write applications programs; they program right down on the bare metal.  Application programming is for feebs who can't do systems programming.
• Real Programmers don't eat quiche.  They eat Twinkies, and Szechwan food.
• Real Programmers don't write in COBOL.  COBOL is for wimpy application programmers.
• Real Programmers' programs never work right the first time.  If you throw them on a machine, it can be patched into working in "only a few" 30-hour debugging sessions.
• Real Programmers don't write in FORTRAN.  FORTRAN is for pipe stress freaks and crystallography weenies.
• Real Programmers never work 9 to 5.  If any real programmers are around at 9:00 A.M., it's because they were up all night.
• Real Programmers don't write in BASIC.  Actually, no programmers write in BASIC, after the age of 12.
• Real Programmers don't write in PL/1.  PL/1 is for programmers who can't decide whether to write in FORTRAN or COBOL.
• Real Programmers don't play tennis, or any other sport that requires you to change clothes.  Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring up in the middle of the machine room.
• Real Programmers don't document.  Documentation is for simps who can't read the listings or the object deck.
• Real Programmers don't write in PASCAL, or BLISS, or ADA, or any of those pinko computer science languages.  Strong typing is for people with weak memories.