Alabama Hunters
Two hunters from Alabama are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He does not appear to be breathing. The other whips out his mobile phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps out to the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator, in a calm soothing voice, says, "Calm down. Just take it easy. First let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says, "Okay, now what?"

Bad Hunting Dog

3 deer hunters

Two rednecks named Bubba and Larry and a city boy named Henry went hunting. It was Henry's first time hunting but Bubba and Larry grew up hunting. They went to the clubhouse with the manager of the club. The manager said, "Tomorrow morning, you can leave whenever you want, but you must be back by 7:00PM tomorrow." The three hunters confirmed. Bubba asked, "What are some of the methods around here?" The manager replied, "Well, since the rut is pretty much over, my suggestion would be, find and follow the tracks and once you see one, take 'em down. If you kill one, just drag it back to the club." Once again they confirmed.

The next morning, Bubba and Larry got up at 4:00AM with no problem. Larry tried to wake Henry up but he had some trouble getting up. Finally they were all awake and ready to go hunting. They picked up their rifles and headed out. Later in the day, the manager heard 2 gunshots. As 7:00PM started to roll around, Bubba and Larry got back, dragging their bucks. The manager saw them dragging their deer across the field. As they got closer, the manager said, "Well, how did you manage to get those? They both replied, "I just followed his tracks and there he was."

Going on 7:30PM, Henry was not yet back. So, they got their flashlights and search for him. They finally found him. He was bruised, bloody and had scars all over him. They asked, "What happened?" He yelled, "Well, I followed the tracks and the stupid train hit me!"

The old buck and young buck

Their was this old buck and a young buck standing on top of a ridge overlooking a lush meadow. Grazing in the meadow below were about 20 unsuspecting doe.

The young buck said to the old buck "Why don't we run down to the meadow and mate with one of those doe".

The old buck turns to the young buck and replied "Why don't we walk down to the meadow and mate with them all".

Moral of the story "With age comes wisdom".

Deer & Witch

What's the difference between a deer running away and a small witch?

One's a hunted stag and the other's a stunted hag.

"I just got a new rifle for my wife. It was the best trade I ever made."

"Where is that deer? I know he is close, because I can smell him!"

"What is the definition of a non-typical whitetail?" "One that stays off the highway!"

"I just love animals." "They taste GREAT !!!"

If a man says something, while deer hunting in the woods, and there are no women around to hear it.......Is he still wrong?

Two vultures board an airplane, each is carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

A guy goes off for a week long deer hunting trip. When he returns he is furious with his wife. He says, "you forgot to pack my underwear". Her reply was, "I put them in your rifle case."

Question - why is it that Beer Nuts are a $1.50 and Deer Nuts are under a buck?

First man: why do you go deer hunting without bullets? Second man: Because it is cheaper and the results are the same.

Young deer hunter

A young deer hunter was stalking through the brush when he came upon a very beautiful woman sunbathing in the nude. He quickly pointed his rifle at her and asked "Are you Game?" When she replied, "I sure am!" So he shot her!


Where the BUCK Stops Here ! !

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Montgomery, Alabama