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You Might be from Wisconsin if……

  1.  You've never really met any celebrities. (I saw Reggie White from the balcony at church once.  At least it looked like him)

  2.  Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.

  3.  You can gauge the depth of your relationship by the number of fingers your friends use to wave to you as you pass by on the road

  4.  "Vacation" means playing miniature golf at the Dells.

  5.  You've seen all the biggest bands 10 years after they were popular.

  6.  You measure distance in minutes.

  7.  The corner bar is decorated with neon Leinie signs instead of hanging ferns.

  8.  You know a few people who have never hit a deer with their car.

  9. You know a lot of people who have hit deer more than once.

  10.  Your school classes were canceled because of cold.

  11.  Your school classes were canceled because of heat.

  12.  You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way

  13.  You've ever had to switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in the same day

  14.  You think ethanol makes your truck run a lot worse.

  15.  You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.

  16.  Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.

  17.  You ask for a "bubbler" when you're thirsty.

  18.  You hear someone use the word "oof-dah" and you don't immediately break into uncontrollable laughter.

  19.  You "borrow" your neighbor your snow blower and hope he returns it before the next storm. 

  20.  You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

  21. You laugh at people who think Highway 21 is "Up North".

  22.  A clean bowling shirt is appropriate attire for a wedding.

  23.  You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

  24.  You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town, I wanna go with."

  25. You consider it a sport to drill through 30 inches of ice and sit there all day hoping food will swim by.

  26.  All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, dairy product or animal.

  27.  You install security lights on your house and garage and then leave both unlocked.

  28.  You think of the major four food groups as cheese, beer, brats and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.

  29.  You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.

  30.  You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.

  31. Your wife knows the difference between the Colt and the Beretta and can handle both of them.

  32.  You instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year.

  33.  You own just four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and grandma's homemade horseradish.

  34. You think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and venison.

  35. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.

  36.  You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

  37.  Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

  38.  You think everyone from a city has an accent.

  39.  The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires six pages for sports.

  40.  You think that opening day of deer season is a national holiday.

  41.  You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

  42.  You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."

  43.  You know all four seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter and Construction.

  44.  You define summer as three months of bad sledding.

  45.  Your definition of a small town is one that only has three bars.

  46.  Snow tires come standard on all your cars.

  47.  You refer to the Packers as "We."

  48.  At least 50 percent of your relatives work on a dairy farm.

  49.  You can make sense out of the words "upnort" and "Trivers."

  50.  You have gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week.

  51.  You can identify a Michigan accent.

  52.  You learned to drive a tractor before the training wheels were off your bike.

  53.  "Down South" to you means Chicago.

  54.  Traveling coast to coast means going from Superior to Milwaukee.

  55.  The "Big Three" means Miller, Old Style, and PBR

  56.  A brat is something you eat.

  57.  You were offended by the movie "Fargo."

  58.  You know that Eau Claire is not something you eat.

  59.  You have no problem spelling Milwaukee or pronouncing Eau Claire.

  60.  You consider Madison "exotic."

  61. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings and funerals).

  62.  You got a passport to go to Minnesota.

  63.  You renamed either a pet or a child when Favre joined the Vikings.

  64.  Your idea of foreign culture is listening to Da Yoopers.

  65.  You don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

  66.  You've seen a Hodag, or, at least you think that’s what it was.

  67.  You used to think Deer Season was included as an official school holiday.

  68.  You know that Gotham is a real city.

  69.  You can actually pronounce and spell Oconomowoc.

  70.  The snow on your roof in June weighs more than you do.

  71.  Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a cow next to your blue spruce.

  72.  You think there should be a "FIB Go Home!" bumper sticker on every car north of Madison.

  73.  Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new machine shed.

  74.  A Friday night out is taking your girlfriend shining for deer.

  75.  You go out for fish fry every Friday.

  76.  You go to work in a snowsuit in the morning and return home wearing shorts.

  77.  You tell someone where you are from and they say: "I thought that was part of Canada."

  78.  Bernie Brewer is your idol because he gets to dive in a giant beer mug.

  79.  Your idea of the seasons is winter, spring, and the Fourth of July.

  80.  You know how to polka, but never actually did it sober.

  81.  Your idea of diversity is having black, white, and brown cows.

  82.  You think Lutheran and Catholic are the major religions.

  83.  You drink "soda" and refer to your dad as "pop."

  84.  Real formal wear is a flannel shirt, blue jeans, and a baseball cap.

  85.  You've touched the "World's Largest Six Pack."

  86.  Your children describe their summer vacation out of state as a "trip to Door County."

  87.  You were unaware there is a legal drinking age.

  88.  You have to go to Florida to get a tan in August.

  89.  You have caught a fish that glowed in the dark.

  90.  You define "swimming season" as Labor Day weekend.

  91.  Your Fourth of July Family Picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

  92.  You know where the city of Waunakee is, and you can pronounce it.

  93.  You can visit Luxembourg, Holland, Belgium, Denmark, and Poland all in one afternoon.

  94.  You have more fishing poles than teeth.

  95.  You decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a weekend.

  96.  You have been involved in a "drive-by hay baling."

  97.  You are a connoisseur of cheese curds, and find anyone unfamiliar with them to be frighteningly foreign.

  98.  You remember Jim Ford fondly as "The Spice King".

  99.  The mosquitoes have landing lights.

  100.  You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

  101.  You have 10 favorite recipes for deer meat.

  102.  You thought "Grumpy Old Men" was a documentary.

  103.  The Tire Store on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

  104.  You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one yard above the ground.

  105.  You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

  106.  You think everyone from everywhere else has an accent, but you don't.

  107.  You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

  108.  At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

  109.  The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

  110.  Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.

  111.  You head south to go to your cottage.

  112.  You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.

  113.  The mayor greets you on the street by your first name.

  114.  There is only one shopping plaza in town.

  115.  The major parish fundraiser isn't bingo - its sausage making.

  116.  You find -40° a mite chilly.

  117.  The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

  118.  You can play road hockey on skates.

  119.  You can tell the difference between a chipmunk and a squirrel from yards away.

  120.  Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.

  121.  You schedule your wedding in the middle of January without a thought about weather conditions.

  122.  You consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping the food will swim by.

  123.  Formal is a tucked in flannel shirt.

  124.  You start complaining if there's no snow by Thanksgiving.

  125.  You keep the snow tires on your truck all year because it isn't worth taking them off for only two months.

  126.  You have a town with men foolish enough to play a tackle football snow bowl on the Sunday after Christmas for 37 years in a row.

  127.  Your freezer is warmer than it is outside, and you don't immediately wonder if it's broken.

  128.  When you hear "School Shooting" you think of the youth trap team.

  129.  You'll never get sick of Da Yoopers "Second Week of Deer Camp".

  130.  You've actually HEARD of Da Yoopers.

  131.  You can leave your ice cream in the car while you go into Fleet Farm, and it won't melt.

  132.  All your kids at school are above average.

  133.  Your local Dairy Queen is closed from December through February.

  134.  Your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead.

  135.  You believe the only REAL vehicles have skis in front and a loud motor under your seat.

  136.  You may not have actually eaten it, but you have heard of Lutefisk.

  137.  Half your friends are Lutheran.

  138.  The other half are Catholic.

  139.  You don't think it's at all weird for Wal Mart to be selling swimsuits and winter coats mere feet from each other.

  140.  You like the Winter Olympics better than the Summer Olympics.

  141.  You've had to replace your mailbox three times this winter because the snow plow hit it.

  142.  You consider snow banks to be "just another rough" on the golf course.

  143.  You think hotdish is one of the major food groups.

  144.  You think anyone who says "casserole" instead of "hotdish" is trying to be uppity.

  145.  You have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time.

  146.  Your best clothes are reversible; from blaze orange to camouflage.

  147.  You have ever thought Michelangelo's statue of David was "indecent".

  148.  Your idea of creative landscaping is a pair of kissing Dutch kids next to the cow statue by your Blue Spruce.

  149.  You were delighted to get a miniature snow shovel for your 3rd birthday.

  150.  Your birthday was in April, and you still got to use the shovel right away.

  151.  Your town has an equal number of bars and churches.

  152.  You know how to say Wauwatosa, Manitowoc, and Waukesha.

  153.  You think that ketchup is a little too spicy.

  154.  You think the expression "to open a can of worms" means "to go fishing".

  155.  You support the preservation of forests, farmland and wetlands because that's where you hunt deer, pheasants and geese.

  156.  Your daily meals are breakfast, dinner, and supper.

  157.  Every January, from age 2 to 13, you let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post.

  158.  Being a "Red Wing fan" means you like their new line of hiking boots.

  159.  You believe human beings must all go through a frozen dormant period for four months every year.

  160.  You consider Lime Jell-O a highly versatile food: a breakfast dish when it is filled with fruit, a salad when it has shredded carrots and a dab of mayonnaise, and a dessert when topped with Dream Whip.

  161.  The physician giving a lecture on gastro-intestinal disorders talks about your "tummy".

  162.  You never had to rewind any part of "Fargo" because you missed some of the dialogue.

  163.  Your town isn't trying to be ironic when it plans a "Winter Carnival".

  164.  You always believed that vacation meant "going up north."

  165.  Your bank has the name of your town included in its name.

  166.  Plugger cartoons make sense.

  167.  You praise the parents of the state's top basketball player for pulling him off of the team until his grades improve.

  168.  You believe that bitter cold, a slippery surface and speed go together in a sport and on the Interstate.

  169.  The temperature in February is above freezing for three days in a row, and you think it's summer.

  170.  You think it's best to eat Jell-O after it's molded.

  171.  You laugh out loud every time you see a news report about a blizzard shutting down the entire east coast.

  172.  Your mom asks, "Were you born in a barn?" and you know exactly what she means.

  173.  You can recite, from memory, more than a half-dozen "Ole and Lena" jokes.

  174.  You know people named Ole and Lena.

  175.  You thank God every morning for not making you an Iowan.

  176.  The phrase “ grilled Venison” brings to mind a Buick, not a barbeque.

  177.  You know that a Barbeque and a Weber are the same thing. 

  178.   You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

  179.  You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

  180.  You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.

  181.  Your have a boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

  182.  You come back from the dump with more than you took.

  183.  You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

  184.  Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.

  185.  You've bathed with flea and tick soap.

  186.  You thought the Unabomber was a wrestler.

  187.  You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

  188. You know that Menomonie, Menominee County, and Menomonee Falls are 3 different places and all spelled correctly.

  189. You know that creek rhymes with pick.

  190. You know the difference between a heifer and a cow.

  191. You can pronounce Leinenkugel.

  192. You can spell Leinenkugel.

  193. You know what Leinenkugel's is.

  194. You're getting thirsty right about now.

  195. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Wisconsin friends.

  196. You have a nickname for your chain saw and you pat it on the fuel tank at the end of a hard day's sawing.

  197. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

  198.  The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

  199. You go to a fancy restaurant in a big city and ask, "What do you have on tap?"

  200. You ever went to a wedding reception in a bowling alley.

  201. You or someone you know was a "Dairy Princess" at a county fair.

  202.  Every sweatshirt you own is either red and white or green and gold.

  203. There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for the tornado.

  204.  The local gas station sells live bait.

  205. Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.

  206.  You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.

  207. Football schedules are checked before wedding dates are set.

  208. During a storm, you check the cattle before you check the kids.

  209. You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.

  210. You've never been arrested, but you are on a first name basis with the county sheriff.

  211. You wake up when it's dark, and go to bed when it's still light.

  212.  You can tell it's really a farmer working late in his field, and not a UFO.

  213.  You don't clean up the dog's mess because it is just fertilizer.

  214.  You have ever drove your car across the lake in the winter for a short cut through town.

  215.  If you weren't 21 but could still drink legally because you were"grandfathered in".

  216.  If you know someone who has gotten a DUI on a snowmobile.

  217. You'll eat head cheese but can't figure out how anyone can eat chitlins.

  218. You're eating an ice cream cone at a toboggan party.

  219. You drive 15 miles out of your way to buy Limberger.

  220. You skinny dip in Lake Superior. In March.

  221. You refer to Chicago as being "down South."

  222.  You know that there is no 'r' in Wausau.

  223. Your Sunday best includes a blaze orange jacket.

  224. You include beer as one of the major food groups.

  225.  You refer to Minnesota's "10,000 lakes" as potholes.

  226.  You refer to that  old outhouse as a lawn decoration, but are keeping it.... just in case...

  227.  You figure that people are talking about fishing reels when they use the name Shakespeare.

  228.  You know what a "tip up" is.

  229. You saved the Ruger website as one of your favorites.