Beneath the Stripes - Taking the Tiger to Montreal

Beneath the Stripes:

Tourette's Syndrome from the Tiger’s View

by Darin M. Bush

Taking the Tiger to Montreal

It is time to make plans to go to Montreal in October for the annual TSFC conference and joke telling competition. Yes, Bill, I will be reprising my "Most Tasteless Tourette Joke Ever".

<clears throat> I have been asked, as a representative of the Tourette Syndrome Foundation of Canada (TSFC, ey), to address some issues relevant to the conference in October of this year in Montreal, Quebec. If I have to point out where Quebec is, you are coming to the wrong conference. Okay, confession time: I made up the part about 'asked'. If I show up with an attorney attached, you will know how humorous they found this. As you begin to make said plans, please take the following items into consideration. The TSFC believes they will help make the conference safer, more successful, and just plain wittier.

We all know that the best speakers on TS+ will be in attendance. In an attempt to alleviate anxiety, the TSFC has asked me to warn you about some of the topics. It will be nice to see new information on Sensory Dysintegration (SD) and how to live with it. I have SD, and I have been using my own version of the brushing program. It works, sort of, and I want to compare notes with the professionals, as long as they do not touch me. I also expect to hear new information on Executive Dysfunction (EDF). No, Rosie, do not get nervous. If you want to see EDF in action, come watch me pack for the trip back to Atlanta.

Please note: for those of you who are diagnosed TS/ ADHD/ OCD/ LD, please have your badges updated to say TS/ ADHD/ OCD/ LD/ EDF/ SD/ GMADAISYWARSLL. Huh? Oh, that. It stands for “Give Me Another Diagnosis And I’ll Show You What A Real Storm Looks Like”, and is pronounced “gima daisy warsil” or just “Thhhhhppppt”.

I am sure new information about treatment and medication will be presented by top doctors. Please bring your Tourette Bingo cards: a key element of the learning track at every conference. For instance, when a doctor talks about Remeron and serotonin, the last two boxes in your ‘O’ column, you yell out “Bingo” to win a prize, such as a Time Out. The TSFC admits a problem does exist with the TS+ Bingo system. You see it coming, right? The folks with coprolalia dominate the game, which is actually acceptable. Let them have a neurochemical advantage for once.

Of course, the adults will not have all the fun. The conference will host a youth program. Since there was some confusion in Vancouver, the TSFC has asked me to clarify. “Youths” are not anyone younger than the current President of the TSFC. So no more excuses from Bob Rogers. Finally, the banquets are not a two drink minimum, as believed by some people (who will not be singled out). The banquets are, in fact, a two dose minimum: please pack accordingly. See you in Montreal, and may you have a boring flight.

Questions? Comments? Got a TS joke for the site? Email me at the Tourette Tiger

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