Today I had a very long and very overdue conversation with one of my very best friend's Elizabeth. She lives in Maui and is now married with two beautiful little boys. She is a very talented artist though her inspiration is at a standstill at the moment..at least for painting.
We used to be roommates , studio partners, and artist company to each other when I lived on Maui. Now we communicate through email as often as possible. Her machine seems to be down hence the phone call which just puts the fact that I miss her into even more of a perspective.
She and her family are going to spend the summer in Tahiti where her husband works as a surf photographer. They invited me to join them earlier this year and I had planned on it with exciting visions of her and I having fantastic art filled days. What I hadn't planned for was the fact that I still wouldn't have any film work (= $$$) at this point ....I had to tell her today that I needed to cancel.
I guess the worst part is that I will be spending an entire month in Maui and I won't get to see her as she will be in Tahiti getting back to Maui just as I am returning to L.A. I know.....a month in Maui....how can that be bad. It can't, it's just that I really miss this spirit in my life and it's been a long time since I have been able to spend time with her on a personal level and it will be even longer now.
It seems most Eastern philosophies have the same answer for these situations....that everything happens for a reason and it is better to "bend like the reed in the storm than break like a stiff branch".
I am trying to meditate on this very example....still I am homesick for my friend and for the hours of art we did together and I just feel a little vulnerable today.
Sometimes I wonder why I left and if things will ever be as they once were. I suppose I know the answers to these in my spirit yet I wish I could capture just a few of those precious moments back and place them into the present.