testimony

This is my Testimony. I give this Testimony willingly. for two reasons. it is to show what can and will happen to People. when they try to do it with out GOD in there life. and in my case what can happen when you are a born agine christian and like me kick GOD out of your life. Please dont make the same mistake I did. It will cost you...

This is my Testimony. My Sad story if you will. I was Born in 1960 here in Southern Oregon and continue to live here. its a Beautifull place to live. Growing up was very difficult for me. Im the second oldest of 4 children. my Mother is a Belever in Jesus Christ. but my Father was not a Belever. Growing up it was a very disfunctional Home I grew up allways wanting to be alone. to just be off by my self. so I was very withdrawn as a teenager and didnt have many close freinds. School was very difficult for me. didnt do good. just didnt care. I was picked on a lot in school. I was over weight and never seem to have the right Hair cut. or had the right shoes or cloths. it was a real bad time for me in High school. I allways knew in my Heart there was a GOD. but I knew nothing about the Bible or how to reach GOD. after High school I had no Idea what I wanted to do in life. no clue at all. I soon got a Job and began my life as a young adult. at the age of 21. I discovered Alcohol. Beer. but at that time in my life it was not a Daily habit for me. in Febuary of 1982. I moved out of my parents home and into a house with roomates. the Beer began flow most each day there. and I for the first time exsperienced many things I had not Exsperienced before. in 1983. I beleve it was late 83 I found GOD for the first time and became a Born agine Christian.it was great. I felt the Presents of the LORD in my Heart and knew He was there. so at that time I bought a Bible and began to read it. and began to lean about the LORD. how ever I had not gone to Church yet and I even beleved that I did not need to go to Church. I rejected that Idea. and I was not really Whorshiping the LORD like I needed to do. and I was still involved in the sin that the world has to offer each of us. But my life was good I thought and as long as I know GOD and read my Bible every so often its fine. Very Wrong. there is a Fact that I personally did not understand for most of my life. and now I do understand it.. each one of us is Created by GOD. Individually. and He Creates you and Me with a hole in our Soul. GOD does that on Perpose. because He wants you and me to put HIM there in that Hole in our Soul. and if we do not Put Him there in that hole in our soul. we will put other things there. to try to fill that space. I was not filling that hole with GOD. I was putting Garbage in my Heart and thus getting garbage out of my LIfe. at this point in my life I had one really strong interest. and that was to get the Car of my Dreams. a 1972 Chevelle. Click Here to see it. and I did find that Car. in August of 1985. found if for sale in the Paper. a real fixer uper. $600.00 just what I wanted. right at that same time I met a Man at the place I was working at at that time. and talking with him one day he was telling me about His Church. and asked me if I wanted to go sometime to the Wednesday night Bible Study that they have there. and I said yah sure I guess. well I had heard of the Church He was talking about. www.applegatefellowship.org it had been in the news here in my town many times so I went up there with Him one Wednesday night for the Bible Study. and I loved it. it was the first time I had seen Pastor Jon in person. Teaching the Bible. and it Brought me so much closer to GOD. it was a very good time for me after that first visit to the church. so each week I would go out to the church there in Ruch and whorship and be part of the rather large group of People there. it was a real fellowship for me. and at the same time I was restoring my Chevelle I had bought. it was a real special time for me. as I was restoring this car and many many times late at night when I was out there in the garage working on my car GOD was right there with me. it was great. a very nice time in my life. However my life would change very much in just a few short years.

My Dad died in September of 1988. I did not have a close releationship with Him. infact none of His children did. He drove all of us away from him. He was very abusive to all of us including my Mother. he was a missible man all his life. very unhappy all the time. and died at 59 years old. as far as I know He never knew GOD. I now Pray for Him and forgive Him for all the Bad things that He did to us. not because GOD wants me to. but because I want to. its in my Heart now to forgive all who have hurt me. well now to continue with my story. my Beautifull 72 Chevelle was finished by 1989. and it was good. newly rebiult from the Ground up. New paint. new wheels and tires. everything New. New engine with many nice preformance parts. I loved it. and loved driving it. and seeing people looking at it. and admiring it. it at that time was one of only two Red 72 chevelles with black super sport stripes in the vally here. It was something that GOD and I had built togather. well in very late 1989 at the company I was working at. I met a woman who was 2 years older then I. (Teri.) I was very attracted to Her. but she was married and had two children. and I sort of knew Her Husband. after a short time she made it known to me that she was very interested in getting involved with me. she infact persued me a lot at work. and it was at this time I stoped going to church. I started making up exscuses to my self why I could not go tonight or today. and finnally stoped going all togather. stoped talking to GOD completely. after a few months (Teri) was looking very good to me. I still knew it was wrong. I knew it was going aginst GOD'S Laws. but I had stoped talking to the LORD each day and now I was begining to fill the hole in my sole with the Excitment of a Married woman. I had pushed the LORD out of my life and replaced HIM with Sin. and I knew what I was doing. I made the choice to put GOD on the back burner and Put a Married woman in my life. well by the early 90's we were sexually involved. and it whent on for a few years. we were caught. Her Husband found out. of course. it was a really bad situation. He came after me. the Police had to get involved. she lost Her job there because of it. how ever I did not lose my job. but everyone there knew all about us. it was a real bummer. I would eventually have to leave that company. but (Teri) and would continue our adultrus affair. I was so inlove with Her and wanted Her so much. I was Hooked. bad. She was the most important thing in my life at that point. (Teri) would eventually leave Her Husband in January of 1994. oh. not for me. but for yet another Man. who I had not been aware of. it was over. January 1994. my life came crashing down all around me. thus begines a 13 year period of self destruction that I brought on to my self.

I have never felt worse in my life then I did in the year of 1994. I felt so alone. and I wanted to be alone. I kept everyone away from me. including the LORD. I was really mad at GOD. I was mad at Him for letting me get Hurt so badly. I rejected him totally at this time. on March 4th 1994. I made a feeble atempt at ending my life in a Motel a wonderfull place I had been to many times in the past but Have never returned since that day in 94. Driving back home the next morning knowing it was not my time to go. and vowing to never attempt that agine. I did not speak to the LORD. I felt like He let me down. Man was I so dead wrong about that. but for the next 13 years I would reject GOD and not want Him in my life. and not realize untill 6-weeks ago. that I had done it to my self. because I had sinned. I didnt do much in the year of 1994. except feel sorry for my self and blame the LORD for all my pain. in late January 1995. I once agine got involved with another young woman at my new place of employment. she was 5 years younger then me. and it only lasted a few months. this time I did not get Hurt. she got Hurt.

I didnt mean to Hurt Her. I know she really did care about me. and I was just not the good guy she thought I was. I really was not to up set at the time about Her getting Hurt by me. I thought what the heck. I got Hurt now its someone eles turn. man. I tell you honestly. I was a pile of garbage then. yes. I wish I knew where she was at right now. so I could tell Her how badly I feel and how sorry I'am for what happend. well my life only got worse from there. I was not drinking much at that time. but I had been smoking ciggarretts for several years and lost lots of weight. in 1996. I moved into a small apartment here in town and lived there untill 2001. I did manage to give up the ciggarretts while I was there. in 1998 on Holloween I lost my Chevelle. it was wrecked while parked on the street. my drinking was increasing. in December of 1999 I lost my beloved uncle Fred. who I miss terribley to this day. He was very special to all of us Kids growing up. in September of 2001 I moved into the very back apartment of the complex and took over the job as grounds keeper for the owner. it was very nice back there. big garden area. my Drinking became a daily habit by 2002. in 2003 I was 43 years old and stupidly got involved with another Girl at work. she was 27 at the time and it lasted off and on untill 2005 she was a very heavy Drinker. I guess that is why it worked out for a while. after she was gone out of my life. all I had was the boze. since then well all I have done is get Drunk each and every day after work. I have suffered Depression, anger, haterd, Finacial Problems, Dispare, loss of Hope, Frustration, and thoughts of suicide. the winters here are pretty cold and long. the summer time goes by very fast. I had a very hard time this last winter. and I could not wait untill the summer began so I could start to feel better. it did not work. this year in the last 10 months. I have not only had thoughts of suicide. I planned it out. that is how bad I have been feelling. this year I started to make plans in my mind of just how Im going to take my own life. I cant beleve I acctually did that. but I did. oh not a time. but I planned out a place and a method for Death. I just thought I dont want to be here anylonger. I just figued it would be better if I was no longer here. well that is stupid of course. I now know the reason I have been feeling this way is because I kicked GOD out of my life 13 years ago. that is it. I finnally figured this out 6 weeks ago.

September 10 2007. I'm at home in the evening watching T.V. Drunk as usual. and on one of the news channels they were re showing there complete coverage of the twin towers. that we have all seen so much over the years. and I was just saying to my self. Dan. those people were so lucky that they died that day. they dont have to sit here day after day and suffer all this pain of life. I thought why wont GOD take me away now. like he did to all those people. and end my pain. and I pretty much decided that the next day I was going to carry out my plan to end my pain. my way. at some point I past out from the boze and fell asleep for the night. when I woke up the next day. I didnt have to go to work. and as soon as I got up. I realized during the night GOD had spoken to me in my sleep. He told me to do something. He told me to go into the spare bedroom and go in the closet and get out my cassette tapes that I had bought years ago of Pastor Jon's Bible Teachings and listen to them NOW. so I did. I went in there and opend up the closet and the first thing I see is my Guitar. I bought that Acustic Guitar a few years back. coz I wanted to learn to play it. but never did. so I put one of his teachings into the player and as soon as I heard jon's voice. I just began to cry. I began to realize right then just what I had done. I had wasted so much time with useless things trying to make my self happy. that will just not work. we can not do anything good. with out the LORD in our hearts. please Trust me people. if you do not accept Jesus Christ into your hearts and beleve He died for you and for me. you will have nothing but Pain, Deppresion, hopelessness, dispair, the list goes on. please dont be a fool like I was and think you can make it on your own. you can not. on September the 11th of this year. I asked GOD to come back into my life. the fact is He never left me. He was allways there. but He is going to let me do what I want to do. if that is what I choose. and that is what I did. in 1989 remember. I made a choice to get involved in sin. I made that choice. I knew it was wrong. and I did not ask GOD'S Permisson to do what I did. I just did it. and HE will let me and HE will let you do the same if you choose. it will cost you. it cost me. Romans 6:23 tells you and tells me FOR THE WAGES OF SIN IS DEATH. BUT THE GIFT OF GOD IS ETERNAL LIFE IN CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD. The wages of sin is death. I know that now. if you sin like I did you will bring death apon you. I suffered death. in that 13 year period. the death of my happyness. the death of relationships. and the death of my passion for building old cars. I dont build anymore chevelles. never. why.? I no longer have that desire to do that. Im convinced that my sin over that 13 year period. cost me the death of that passion that I shared with the LORD. of building cars.

well that is my Testimony. I share it with you to show all. what not to do. dont kick GOD out of your life. Kick HIM into your Life. Make HIM come into your heart. HE Promised to do just that. if you ask HIM to. I will share with you my favorite Verse in the Bible. John 3:16 mabe you know it. Jesus is speaking here. FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON. THAT WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM SHOULD NOT PERISH BUT HAVE EVERLASTING LIFE.

May Jesus Christ come into you Heart...GOD...Bless...

Contact Me at wildfire_1@charter.net